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xNepali Forum => Fun Stuffs / Literature => Topic started by: r1p2b6 on May 30, 2007, 09:56:29 AM

Title: Laugh! Laugh!! Laugh!!
Post by: r1p2b6 on May 30, 2007, 09:56:29 AM
1980 girls: Maa mei Jeans pehanungi
Maa : Nahin beti log kya kahengey ?
2006 girls: Maa mein mini skirt pehanungi
Maa: Pehen Le beti kuch to pehan Le!
*********************************


SIMILARITY between Gandhiji & Mallika?
Dono NE kapde tyag diye,
Ek NE desh ke liye,
Doosre NE Deshwasion ke liye!
*********************************
Title: Re: Laugh! Laugh!! Laugh!!
Post by: r1p2b6 on May 30, 2007, 09:57:43 AM
Exams ke 4 din pehle syllabus dekha to yaad aaya,
Kuch To Hua Hai Kuch Ho Gaya Hai,
Exams ke din paper dekh kar yaad aaya,
Sab Kuch Alag Hai Sab Kuch Naya Hai
*********************************


JUdge: U r crossing the limits.
Lawyer: Kaun Saala aisa kehta hai?
Judge: How dare you call me saala?
Lawyer: My Lod, I said kaun 'sa Law' kehta hai?
*********************************
Title: Re: Laugh! Laugh!! Laugh!!
Post by: r1p2b6 on May 30, 2007, 09:58:45 AM
Bhikhari: Saab 1 rupaya de do.
Saheb: Kal aana.
Bhikhari: Saala is kal-kal ke chakkar mein is colony mein mere lakhon
Rupaye fase huye hain.
*********************************


Generation Next Motto:
Na hum shaadi karenge,
Na apne bachchon ko karne denge.
*********************************
Title: Re: Laugh! Laugh!! Laugh!!
Post by: r1p2b6 on May 30, 2007, 09:59:56 AM
What do u call a woman in heaven?
An Angel.
A crowd of woman in heaven?
A host of Angels.
And all woman in heaven?
PEACE ON EARTH!
*********************************


What's the diff between Dava & Daru?
Dava is like girlfriend,
That comes with expiry date and Daru is like wife,
Jitni purani hogi utna sir Chad ke bolegi.
*********************************
Title: Re: Laugh! Laugh!! Laugh!!
Post by: r1p2b6 on May 30, 2007, 10:00:48 AM
FOOL se, FOOL NE,
FOOLon ki FOOLwari me
FOOL ke sath wish kiya '
You are the most beautiFOOL,
ColorFOOL & wonderFOOL amongst all FOOLS
*********************************


A Chinese couple Mr & Miss Hua got twins without marriage.
What did they named them?
They named them as 'Jo-Hua', ' So-Hua'
*********************************
Title: Re: Laugh! Laugh!! Laugh!!
Post by: r1p2b6 on May 30, 2007, 10:01:53 AM
What did Tarzan think when he saw a dead Cheetah?
Wow! New Underwear
*********************************


Paani mein Whiskey milao at nasha chadta hai.
Paani mein Rum milao to nasha chadta hai.
Paani mein Brandy milao to nasha chadta hai.
Saala paani mein hi kuch gadbad hai.
*********************************
Title: Re: Laugh! Laugh!! Laugh!!
Post by: gigolo on May 31, 2007, 11:15:27 AM
thanks nice jokes
Title: Re: Laugh! Laugh!! Laugh!!
Post by: r1p2b6 on May 31, 2007, 12:20:34 PM
Dhanyabad gigolo
Title: Re: Laugh! Laugh!! Laugh!!
Post by: Xteam on May 31, 2007, 05:17:14 PM
ha..ha.. gigolo bro great collectin thank you..
Title: Re: Laugh! Laugh!! Laugh!!
Post by: r1p2b6 on June 01, 2007, 08:13:56 AM
Kahan gigolo boro lai Thankyou bhaneko
Post garne euta Thankyou paune arko
ke ho xteam ji
Title: Re: Laugh! Laugh!! Laugh!!
Post by: xnepali on June 01, 2007, 08:29:30 AM
hehehe

dhaniyako pat r1p!
Title: Re: Laugh! Laugh!! Laugh!!
Post by: r1p2b6 on June 01, 2007, 08:42:42 AM
hehehe

dhaniyako pat r1p!



Ha Ha Ha Ha
Palo sabaiko aula Haina Nep bro
Title: Re: Laugh! Laugh!! Laugh!!
Post by: r1p2b6 on June 04, 2007, 09:13:14 AM
Two men met at a bar and struck up a conversation. After a while one of them said, "You think you have family problems? Listen to my situation,
A few years ago I met a young widow with a grown-up daughter and we got married. Later, my father married my stepdaughter. That made my stepdaughter my stepmother, and my father became my stepson. Also, my wife became the mother-in-law of her father-in-law.Then the daughter of my wife, my stepmother, had a son. This boy was my half brother because he was my father's son, but he was also the son of my wife's daughter, which made him my wife's grandson. That made me the grandfather of my half brother.This was nothing until my wife and I had a son. Now the sister of my son, my mother-in-law, is also my grandmother. This makes my father the brother-in-law of my child, whose stepsister is my father's wife.to sum up,I am my stepmother's brother-in-law; my wife is her own child's aunt, my son is my father's nephew and I am my own grandfather. And you think you have family problems?"
Title: Re: Laugh! Laugh!! Laugh!!
Post by: r1p2b6 on June 24, 2007, 03:54:33 PM
Kaun Banega Crorpati
 
Amitabh is questioning a guy on Kaun Banega Crorpati .
He asks him "Meri company ka naam kya hain?"
OPtions : INfosys, Wipro, ABCL, HLL
THe guys says "ABCL"
Amitabh asks "Sure, confident?"
The guys says " yes confident" Amitabh says
Amitabh : "Sure! Tala laaga dein."
The guy says : "Ha tala laaga dein"
"Computerji ABCL ko tala laga do"
THe computer replies
"Abe gadhe ABCL ko 2 saal se Tala laga hua hain !"    
Title: Re: Laugh! Laugh!! Laugh!!
Post by: r1p2b6 on June 24, 2007, 03:56:10 PM
The middle- aged woman went to see her doctor.
"Well, what's the trouble?""Doctor,
it's headache, shooting pains in my legs and high blood pressure."
"How old are you?" asked the doctor."
I'll be 26 on my next birthday."
"H'mm," said the doctor, busy writing, "loss of memory too."
Title: Re: Laugh! Laugh!! Laugh!!
Post by: r1p2b6 on June 24, 2007, 03:57:39 PM
A Shopkeeper's son had trouble with his eyes.
He took the boy to an eye-specialist
who operated upon and replaced the boy's eyes with those donated by a Minister.
A few days after the operation, the doctor asked the father,
"How's your son doing?"
"He is fine," replied the father,
"but he keeps on gazing at a chair whenever he finds one."
Title: Re: Laugh! Laugh!! Laugh!!
Post by: r1p2b6 on June 24, 2007, 03:59:47 PM
A haryanavi peasant came to the office of
The Hindustan Times placed an ad. Announcing his father's death".
The rate is Rs.360/single col. cm., "the clerk told him."
Main to lut jaoonga - I will be ruined, "exclaimed the Haryanavi.
"My father was 182 cms. tall."
Title: Re: Laugh! Laugh!! Laugh!!
Post by: r1p2b6 on June 24, 2007, 04:01:41 PM
A girl who was appearing in B.ED got married.
The result of B.ED was declared when She was in her in-laws house.
She had secured the first position and in her excitement
She sent a telegram to her father.
SUCCESSFUL IN B.ED
Due to efficiency of the telegraph department,
the father got the telegram as : SUCCESSFUL IN BED
The father cursed the daughter for sending this telegram about her conjugal affairs.
Title: Re: Laugh! Laugh!! Laugh!!
Post by: r1p2b6 on June 24, 2007, 04:03:11 PM
Two terrorists were driving their Maruti to the spot where they intended to place their bomb. The one in driver's seat looked very worried. " Natha, what happens if the bomb we have on the back seat blows up before we get to the site? "" Not to worry, " replied Natha , " I have a spare one in my attache case. "
Title: Re: Laugh! Laugh!! Laugh!!
Post by: xnepali on June 24, 2007, 08:19:58 PM
hehehe

dhaniyako pat r1p!



Ha Ha Ha Ha
Palo sabaiko aula Haina Nep bro

Thank you xt...    oh...   r1p2b6
Good laugh!
Title: Re: Laugh! Laugh!! Laugh!!
Post by: r1p2b6 on June 25, 2007, 09:55:54 AM
hehehe

dhaniyako pat r1p!



Ha Ha Ha Ha
Palo sabaiko aula Haina Nep bro

Thank you xt...    oh...   r1p2b6
Good laugh!

Ha Ha ha Ha Ha ha Ha Nep bro
Thanks
Title: Re: Laugh! Laugh!! Laugh!!
Post by: Xteam on June 25, 2007, 09:56:41 PM
ha..ha... great going r1p bro keep it up
Title: Re: Laugh! Laugh!! Laugh!!
Post by: r1p2b6 on June 26, 2007, 09:48:16 AM
Thanks Xteam
Title: Re: Laugh! Laugh!! Laugh!!
Post by: r1p2b6 on July 02, 2007, 12:34:04 PM
Marriage
A woman awoke during the night to find that her husband was not in bed.She went downstairs looking for him. He was sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He appeared to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She saw tears rolling from his eyes as he sipped his coffee.

"What's the matter with you, my dear? Why are you down here at this time of the night?" she asked.

"Do you remember twenty years ago when we were dating and you were only 16?" he asked.

"Yes, I do," she replied.

"Do you remember when your father caught us while dating?"

"Yes, I do remember," she replied.

"Do you remember when he shoved that shotgun in my face and said, "Either you marry my daughter or spend twenty years in jail?"

"Yes, I do," she said, getting a little teary- eyed herself at his fond recollection.

He wiped another tear from his cheek and said, "You know... I would have been released today."
Title: Re: Laugh! Laugh!! Laugh!!
Post by: r1p2b6 on July 02, 2007, 12:35:28 PM
Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.
Title: Re: Laugh! Laugh!! Laugh!!
Post by: r1p2b6 on July 02, 2007, 12:36:46 PM
Oh loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face
Title: Re: Laugh! Laugh!! Laugh!!
Post by: r1p2b6 on July 02, 2007, 12:41:59 PM
Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not
Title: Re: Laugh! Laugh!! Laugh!!
Post by: r1p2b6 on July 02, 2007, 12:45:31 PM
I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off of your face
Title: Re: Laugh! Laugh!! Laugh!!
Post by: r1p2b6 on July 02, 2007, 12:48:56 PM
I love your smile, your face, and your eyes
- Damn, I'm good at telling lies!
Title: Re: Laugh! Laugh!! Laugh!!
Post by: r1p2b6 on July 02, 2007, 01:20:02 PM
My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life
************************************

I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming
***************************************

My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way
***********************************

My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe "go to hell"
Title: Re: Laugh! Laugh!! Laugh!!
Post by: Xteam on July 09, 2007, 08:44:03 PM
Santa falls in luv with a nurse... After much thinking, he finally writes a love letter to her: "I luv u sister."

*****

Q: Why dogs don't marry?
A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!

*****

Pappu, while filling up a form: Dad, what should I write against mother tongue.?
Santa: Very long!

*****

Teacher: Pappu, TAMSO MA JYOTIR GAMYA" shloka ka kya arth hai?
Pappu: Tum so jayo maa, mein Jyoti ke pass ja raha hoon.

*****

Banta: Marte waqt aadmi ko kya dena chahiye?
Santa: Birla cement.
Banta: Kyun?
Santa: Kyunki is Cement mein jaan hai.

*****

Preeto: Raat ko aap peeke gutter mein gir gaye the.
Banta: Kya bataoon, sub galat sangati ka asar hai, hum 4 dost... 1 bottle, aur woh teeno kambhakt peeten nahin.

*****

Banta ek sadhu se bola" Baba, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upay batao.
Sadhu: Beta, upaay hota to main sadhu kyun banta?

*****

Frog: Tumhare paas dimaag nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai & jumps into the well.
Santa: Isme suicide karne waali kya baat thi.?

*****

Santa was caught for speeding and went before the judge.
The judge: What'll you take 30 days or Rs 3000.
Santa: I think I'll take the money.

*****

Santa: I kiss my wife everyday before leaving for office, what about u?
Banta: Me too, after u leave.

*****

A lady asked Santa: LIPTON di chah hai?
Santa replied: Mainu ta nahi hai ji, tainu hai ta lipat ja...

*****

Q: How do you recognize Santa's son, Pappu, in School?
A: He is the one who erases the books when the teacher erases the board.

*****

Santa standing on platform suddenly jumps on the railway track.
Banta: Santa u'll die.
Santa: U'll die bcoz haven't u heard train is coming on platform?

*****

Santa & Banta got tired of mobile & decide 2 use pigeons. 1day a pigeon reaches Banta without message. Angry Banta calls Santa!
Santa: Oye, this was a missed call

*****

Banta: Name the 3 fastest means of communication.
Santa: Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman

*****

Santa: I'm a proud father. My son is in medical college.
Banta: What's he studying?"
Santa: He's not studying, they are studying him!

*****

Q: A Man asked Santa, "Akal badhi ya bhains? "
A: Santa bola, "Pehle date of birth to batao."

*****

Q: Why was Santa writing the exam near the door?
A: Because it was an entrance exam.

*****

What's Ford?
Santa: Gaadi.
What's Oxford?
Santa: So simple, Bail Gaadi

*****

Banta sent sms to Santa: Bhejnewala mahan, padhnewala gadha.
Santa got angry and replied: Bhejnewala gadha, padhnewala mahan.

*****

Santa: My dad was an extremely brave man. He once entered a lion's cage.
Banta: He probably got a lot of applause ven he got out.
Santa: I didn't say he got out.

*****

Santa found answer to the most difficult question ever- What comes first - the chicken or the egg?
O yaar, jiska order pehle doge, vo ayega!

*****

Santa (reading from book of facts): "Do you know that every time I breathe a man dies?" Banta: "Why don't you use a mouth wash?"
Title: Re: Laugh! Laugh!! Laugh!!
Post by: r1p2b6 on July 10, 2007, 08:06:33 AM
Thanks Xteam
Title: Re: Laugh! Laugh!! Laugh!!
Post by: r1p2b6 on July 13, 2007, 11:13:13 AM
Title: Re: Laugh! Laugh!! Laugh!!
Post by: r1p2b6 on July 13, 2007, 11:16:25 AM
Title: Re: Laugh! Laugh!! Laugh!!
Post by: r1p2b6 on July 13, 2007, 11:17:25 AM
Title: Re: Laugh! Laugh!! Laugh!!
Post by: r1p2b6 on July 13, 2007, 11:20:57 AM
Title: Re: Laugh! Laugh!! Laugh!!
Post by: r1p2b6 on July 13, 2007, 11:24:03 AM
A doctor gets a visit from a patient who is not able to get an erection.
Doctor: Are you married?
Patient: No.
Doctor: Do you masturbate?
Patient: No.
Doctor: Do you visit prostitutes?
Patient: No.
Doctor: Do you have girlfriends?
Patient: No.
Doctor: To phir khada karke kya calender taangega?
Title: Re: Laugh! Laugh!! Laugh!!
Post by: r1p2b6 on July 13, 2007, 11:24:51 AM
Title: Re: Laugh! Laugh!! Laugh!!
Post by: r1p2b6 on July 13, 2007, 11:28:21 AM
Title: Re: Laugh! Laugh!! Laugh!!
Post by: r1p2b6 on July 13, 2007, 11:34:38 AM
Title: Re: Laugh! Laugh!! Laugh!!
Post by: r1p2b6 on July 13, 2007, 11:35:25 AM
Title: Re: Laugh! Laugh!! Laugh!!
Post by: r1p2b6 on July 13, 2007, 11:37:05 AM
Title: Re: Laugh! Laugh!! Laugh!!
Post by: r1p2b6 on July 13, 2007, 11:38:38 AM
One day a man goes to bank for withdrawing cash.
Lady cashier asked: sau ke loge?
Man replied: Khade khade bhi chalega.
Title: Re: Laugh! Laugh!! Laugh!!
Post by: r1p2b6 on July 13, 2007, 11:40:04 AM
Son: Dad, gajab ho gaya, bhai darwaja nahi khol raha.
Dad: kal uski suhagraat thi.
Son: Kal raat ko bhai ne cold cream mangi thi maine fevicol de diya bhul se.
Title: Re: Laugh! Laugh!! Laugh!!
Post by: xnepali on July 13, 2007, 11:41:24 AM
Son: Dad, gajab ho gaya, bhai darwaja nahi khol raha.
Dad: kal uski suhagraat thi.
Son: Kal raat ko bhai ne cold cream mangi thi maine fevicol de diya bhul se.

ha ha ha !!!
Title: Re: Laugh! Laugh!! Laugh!!
Post by: r1p2b6 on July 13, 2007, 11:43:05 AM
Title: Re: Laugh! Laugh!! Laugh!!
Post by: r1p2b6 on July 13, 2007, 11:44:47 AM
Title: Re: Laugh! Laugh!! Laugh!!
Post by: r1p2b6 on July 13, 2007, 11:48:21 AM
Jab tere chikoo the, sab tere pichhu the,
jab tere aam hue, sab pareshan hue,
jab tere kharbuje hue, bade ajube hue,
jab tere jhool gaye, sab tujhe bhool gaye.
Title: Re: Laugh! Laugh!! Laugh!!
Post by: r1p2b6 on July 13, 2007, 11:52:15 AM
Since Babli is eight months into her pregnancy, Bunty has to sleep on the floor to avoid any regrettable mistake, which might happen pretty easily, for he has been desperate for quite a while now.
Just before lying down on the bed, she glances at him and sees the poor Bunty curled up on the floor; eyes stare widely into the empty air, filled with hopeless desire...
Feeling sorry for Bunty, she opens her purse, takes out a five hundred bucks, and gives it to him,
"Awww, my dear is so depressed... here, take this and go to Aishs wife, Preeto, she will let you sleep with her tonight and remember that this happens only once ok?Dont think about it again."
Bunty rolls his eyes in disbelief, but afraid that she may change her mind, he grabs the money and leaves quickly.
A few minutes later, he returns, hands the money back to Babli and says with much disappointment:
"She said this is not enough, she wants One thousand..."
Bablis face slowly turns red with anger, "Damn that bitch... when she was pregnant and Aish came over here... I only charged him five hundred!"
Title: Re: Laugh! Laugh!! Laugh!!
Post by: Xteam on July 14, 2007, 01:47:28 AM
Jab tere chikoo the, sab tere pichhu the,
jab tere aam hue, sab pareshan hue,
jab tere kharbuje hue, bade ajube hue,
jab tere jhool gaye, sab tujhe bhool gaye.


kya baat hain
Title: Re: Laugh! Laugh!! Laugh!!
Post by: r1p2b6 on July 15, 2007, 09:52:58 AM
Son: Dad, gajab ho gaya, bhai darwaja nahi khol raha.
Dad: kal uski suhagraat thi.
Son: Kal raat ko bhai ne cold cream mangi thi maine fevicol de diya bhul se.

ha ha ha !!!
Jab tere chikoo the, sab tere pichhu the,
jab tere aam hue, sab pareshan hue,
jab tere kharbuje hue, bade ajube hue,
jab tere jhool gaye, sab tujhe bhool gaye.


kya baat hain

Thanks
Title: Re: Laugh! Laugh!! Laugh!!
Post by: nish on February 11, 2009, 07:51:33 PM
nice r