Nepali Community Forum

xNepali Forum => Fun Stuffs / Literature => Topic started by: r1p2b6 on June 04, 2007, 07:50:07 AM

Title: Fun Stuffs (different topics merged)
Post by: r1p2b6 on June 04, 2007, 07:50:07 AM
Measurement of Boobs
(http://xnepali.com/ihost/images/jdv1180922618h.jpg)
Title: Suicide
Post by: tundikhel on June 25, 2009, 01:05:32 PM
Suicide modes!

(http://xnepali.com/i/thumbs/laa1245914368k.jpg) (http://xnepali.com/i/viewer.php?id=laa1245914368k.jpg)
Title: Re: Suicide
Post by: W850 on July 05, 2009, 08:44:31 PM
Let me add some bunny suicides to this...  ;D

(http://img34.imageshack.us/img34/79/1011722262007.jpg)
(http://img198.imageshack.us/img198/1303/1011732262007.jpg)
(http://img238.imageshack.us/img238/3033/1011742262007.jpg)
(http://img41.imageshack.us/img41/381/1011752262007.jpg)
Title: Re: Suicide
Post by: W850 on July 05, 2009, 08:51:37 PM
The Harry Potter Fan

(http://img189.imageshack.us/img189/894/1011642262007.jpg)
(http://img268.imageshack.us/img268/597/1011652262007.jpg)
Title: Re: Suicide
Post by: W850 on July 05, 2009, 08:52:38 PM
The Star Trek Nerd

The images in this post are posted by tundikhel bro below.. Thanks a lot..
Title: Re: Suicide
Post by: tundikhel on July 05, 2009, 10:13:25 PM
hotlinking not working W850 bro

(http://xnepali.com/i/thumbs/ktm1246811225v.jpg) (http://xnepali.com/i/viewer.php?id=ktm1246811225v.jpg)

(http://xnepali.com/i/thumbs/nep1246811295e.jpg) (http://xnepali.com/i/viewer.php?id=nep1246811295e.jpg)
Title: Re: Suicide
Post by: W850 on July 06, 2009, 10:46:18 AM
Thanks a lot bro. Have hosted the images elsewhere. Should be working now.
Title: FREE FREE FREE
Post by: tundikhel on July 23, 2009, 12:19:58 PM
(http://xnepali.com/i/thumbs/ktm1248330874r.jpg) (http://xnepali.com/i/viewer.php?id=ktm1248330874r.jpg)
Title: Re: FREE FREE FREE
Post by: Stone_Heart on October 15, 2009, 09:59:48 PM
quite interesting
Title: Words To Live By
Post by: tundikhel on January 08, 2010, 10:38:59 AM
Words To Live By

   1. Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.
   2. Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
   3. Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.
   4. Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.
   5. Eat a live toad in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day.
   6. If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
   7. If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
   8. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
   9. Never buy a car you can't push.
  10. Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you don't have a leg to stand on.
  11. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
  12. The early worm gets eaten by the bird, so sleep late.
  13. The Second mouse gets the cheese
  14. When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
  15. Birthdays are good for you, the more you have, the longer you live.
  16. You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.
  17. Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
  18. Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.
  19. We could learn a lot from crayons, some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, some have weird names, and all are different colors but they all have to learn to live in the same box.
  20. A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.
  21. Happiness comes through doors you didn't even know you left open.
Title: Some Misnomers
Post by: tundikhel on January 08, 2010, 10:40:27 AM
Title: Great Truths About Growing Old
Post by: tundikhel on January 08, 2010, 10:41:46 AM
Title: Re: Great Truths About Growing Old
Post by: tundikhel on January 08, 2010, 10:42:07 AM
Title: Life Is For Living : Live It
Post by: tundikhel on January 08, 2010, 10:42:32 AM
Life Is For Living : Live It

   1. Never be awful to anyone, that person you were awful to may teach you the most.
   2. Always remember...you are a somebody, God didn't take the time to create a nobody.
   3. Always smile, you never know whose day you might be making.
   4. Never 'forget' to say hi to anyone, never miss the chance to laugh or smile, never get too caught up in yourself that you forget to help others.
   5. Never forget that you aren't the only one with problems, and most of all...never forget that when you feel like you only have one friend, that friend will remind you of all the others.
   6. If you forget about all the bad things in life, the good will take over.
   7. If fear is staring you in the face, close your eyes so you don't have to look at it.
   8. Be yourself, you can't be anyone else...The best you can be is you!
Title: Re: Suicide
Post by: d1kshitiz on January 14, 2010, 07:30:19 PM
nice
Title: Never say goodbye!!
Post by: manishaghimire on January 18, 2010, 12:33:43 PM
Hey guys if you need to farewell someone yo love the most than never say good bye. 'Goodbye' is the word used to describe you will not meet him/her ever. If you think you will meet the person you are going to farewell than never say good bye. Just make a sweet bye that will be great!!
Title: Re: Never say goodbye!!
Post by: abi on January 18, 2010, 12:36:19 PM
hmhn
Title: Re: Never say goodbye!!
Post by: nepalimasala on January 19, 2010, 08:19:00 PM
hum....
Title: Re: Never say goodbye!!
Post by: handsy on January 19, 2010, 09:23:15 PM
really nice...keep posting such things..really touching
Title: How famous people have sex in a cartoon -funny must see-
Post by: sibbalnoma on January 21, 2010, 01:46:50 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4hKPIRyT3zI&feature=player_embedded# (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4hKPIRyT3zI&feature=player_embedded#)[youtube][/youtube]
check this out
Title: Re: Suicide
Post by: thrysus on January 22, 2010, 06:08:06 PM
I liked the first one in which a fish is trying to escape water
Title: Re: Never say goodbye!!
Post by: laxman123 on February 02, 2010, 03:01:05 PM
ur fun stuff really made me feel laugh n relax,keep on posting such tops
Title: ramayan puran!!
Post by: Shoerace on February 28, 2010, 12:15:05 AM
ma ta bhanchu bhagwaan aakha nabanau,
haina bhane ramri ramri  kt nabanau...
banaune nai bhaye dekhi ma bhanda jethi nabanau...


RAMAYAN lai pani daro shatter haneko cha.ma ta mari mari hase...aba keta haru ni hasi hala......... ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

link tala cha..babbal hasako yaar yo muktak le...

DOWNLOAD LINK

http://www.ziddu.com/download/8762505/Bhagwan.mp3.html (http://www.ziddu.com/download/8762505/Bhagwan.mp3.html)
Title: Re: ramayan puran!!
Post by: tundikhel on February 28, 2010, 04:16:35 AM
saw it before in YouTube

very funny.
Title: Keyboard - keys
Post by: tundikhel on March 17, 2010, 10:15:04 AM
Looks great in notepad... don't know if it will look nice here

enjoy

,---,---,---,---,---,---,---,---,---,---,---,---,---,-------,
| ~ | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 6 | 6 | 9 | 0 | [ | ] | <-    |
|---'-,-'-,-'-,-'-,-'-,-'-,-'-,-'-,-'-,-'-,-'-,-'-,-'-,-----|
| ->| | Q | W | E | R | T | Y | U | I | O | P | / | = |  \  |
|-----',--',--',--',--',--',--',--',--',--',--',--',--'-----|
| Caps | A | S | D | F | G | H | J | K | L | ; | ' |  Enter |
|------'-,-'-,-'-,-'-,-'-,-'-,-'-,-'-,-'-,-'-,-'-,-'--------|
|        | Z | X | C | V | B | N | M | , | . | / |          |
|------,-',--'--,'---'---'---'---'---'---'-,-'---',--,------|
| ctrl |  | alt |                          | alt  |  | ctrl |
'------'  '-----'--------------------------'------'  '------'
Title: Fun thoughts
Post by: tundikhel on March 24, 2010, 09:02:10 PM
Title: Re: Keyboard - keys
Post by: era.parker on March 31, 2010, 04:41:44 PM
awesome work its really good work.
Title: Re: Fun thoughts
Post by: grifan on April 22, 2010, 01:07:03 PM
Really funny i like it thanks for share it.
Title: Re: Fun thoughts
Post by: ratamakai on April 25, 2010, 09:42:29 PM
if olive oil comes from olive .....where do baby oil comes from ?? he..he.... loved this one man .... +1 to tundi !!!
Title: Re: Fun thoughts
Post by: Oops on April 26, 2010, 02:34:45 PM
Title: Re: Keyboard - keys
Post by: Oops on April 26, 2010, 02:41:14 PM
copy it in notepad, and select font "Courier New".
Title: Re: Keyboard - keys
Post by: tundikhel on April 27, 2010, 04:29:58 AM
copy it in notepad, and select font "Courier New".

yes, that is it

Thanks bro
Title: English Pronunciation
Post by: tundikhel on April 27, 2010, 04:30:32 AM
English Pronunciation!?!

If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers in the world. After trying the verses, a Frenchman said he'd prefer six months of hard labour to reading six lines aloud. Try them yourself.


Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.
Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it's written.)
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.
Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
Exiles, similes, and reviles;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far;
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
Scene, Melpomene, mankind.
Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.
Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward.
And your pronunciation's OK
When you correctly say croquet,
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.
Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
And enamour rhyme with hammer.
River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
Doll and roll and some and home.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
And then singer, ginger, linger,
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.
Query does not rhyme with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
Though the differences seem little,
We say actual but victual.
Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
Foeffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
Dull, bull, and George ate late.
Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific.
Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
Mark the differences, moreover,
Between mover, cover, clover;
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice;
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.
Petal, panel, and canal,
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor.
Tour, but our and succour, four.
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Sea, idea, Korea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.
Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion and battalion.
Sally with ally, yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
Heron, granary, canary.
Crevice and device and aerie.
Face, but preface, not efface.
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
Ear, but earn and wear and tear
Do not rhyme with here but ere.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.
Pronunciation (think of Psyche!)
Is a paling stout and spikey?
Won't it make you lose your wits,
Writing groats and saying grits?
It's a dark abyss or tunnel:
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
Islington and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.
Finally, which rhymes with enough,
Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
Hiccough has the sound of cup.
My advice is to give up!!!
Title: Re: Keyboard - keys
Post by: dizaztah on May 05, 2010, 11:25:40 AM
afaile banako bhaye chahi damiiii copy paste bhaye chahi :P
Title: LOVE Me
Post by: kurakani on May 10, 2010, 12:26:16 PM
(http://xnepali.com/i1/th/pkr1273473604x.jpg) (http://xnepali.com/i1/viewer.php?id=pkr1273473604x.jpg)
Title: Come in --- and ---- Go Away
Post by: kurakani on May 10, 2010, 12:29:58 PM
(http://xnepali.com/i1/th/luu1273473872i.jpg) (http://xnepali.com/i1/viewer.php?id=luu1273473872i.jpg)
Title: Re: Keyboard - keys
Post by: thecallofktulu89 on May 10, 2010, 01:19:24 PM
Really nice. How could you make it? I like picture made by codes like this :D
Bariatric Surgery (http://www.ebariatricsurgery.com/)
merkur parts (http://www.carpartswarehouse.com/merkur-parts/)

Title: Re: English Pronunciation
Post by: thecallofktulu89 on May 10, 2010, 01:20:31 PM
And I think "Tongue twister" is the good way to practice your pronounciation, too :d
Bariatric Surgery (http://www.ebariatricsurgery.com/)
merkur parts (http://www.carpartswarehouse.com/merkur-parts/)
Title: Re: FREE FREE FREE
Post by: bijayapaudel on May 17, 2010, 02:28:08 AM
Ohw ! Interesting lol. ;D
Title: What a toilet
Post by: tundikhel on May 27, 2010, 04:18:51 AM
(http://xnepali.com/i1/th/ooh1274913188o.jpg) (http://xnepali.com/i1/viewer.php?id=ooh1274913188o.jpg)
Title: Re: What a toilet
Post by: handsy on May 27, 2010, 05:17:18 PM
nice
Title: At 8 to 78 - difference between girl and woman
Post by: kurakani on May 31, 2010, 11:16:56 PM
TAKING A WOMAN TO BED


What is the difference between girls/woman
Aged: 8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58, 68, and 78 ?



At 8 -- You take her to bed and tell her a story.



At 18 -- You tell her a story and take her to bed.


At 28 -- You don't need to tell her a story to take her to bed.



At 38 -- She tells you a story and takes you to bed.



At 48 -- She tells you a story to avoid going to bed.


At 58 -- You stay in bed to avoid her story.



At 68 -- If you take her to bed, that'll be a story!



At 78 -- What story??? What bed??? Who the hell are you???   

 
Title: Re: At 8 to 78 - difference between girl and woman
Post by: chanchale on June 06, 2010, 06:25:31 PM
dami......
Title: Re: At 8 to 78 - difference between girl and woman
Post by: hotsashank on June 07, 2010, 07:47:38 AM
haha...ramro lagyo
Title: How to bath (in Nepali)
Post by: tundikhel on June 24, 2010, 09:46:45 PM
कसरी नुहाउने ?

महिला

लुगा फुकाल्नुहोस् ।

लामो गाउन लगाएर बाथरुममा पस्ने । श्रीमान्ले देखे भने लजाएजस्तो गरेर शरीरका खुला भाग ढाक्ने ।

ऐनामा आफ्नो शरीर हेर्ने र पेटका झोलिएका मांसपेशीलाई ठीक गर्न अरू बढी शारीरिक अभ्यास गर्ने निर्णय लिने ।

अब बाथटबमा बसेर नुहाउन थाल्ने । अनुहार, पाखुरा र खुट्टा ढाक्ने कपडाका साथै मयल माड्नका लागि स्पन्ज र प्युमिस स्टोन -हलुको पत्थर) प्रयोग गर्ने ।

काँक्रो र तेजपत्ताका साथै थप ४३ भिटामिन प्रयोग गरिएको स्याम्पुले एकपटक कपाल धुने ।

कपाल सफा भएको निधो गर्न दोस्रोपटक पनि धुने ।

कपालमा अंगुर, पुदिना र एभोकाडो-तेलयुक्त कन्डिसनर लगाउने र पन्ध्र मिनेटसम्म राख्ने ।

खुर्पानीको बियाँको धुलो मुखमा घोट्ने, अनुहार रातो नहुन्जेल घोटिरहने ।

अदुवा र सुपारी प्रयोग गरिएको साबुन लगाएर जिउ नुहाउने ।

अघि कपालमा लगाइएको कन्डिसनर राम्ररी पखाल्ने ।

काखी र खुट्टाका राँै खौरने, तर बिकिनी लगाइने भागमा भने सेभ गर्नुभन्दा वाक्स गर्नु -चिल्ल्याउनु) उत्तम होला ।

तपाईंले नुहाउने वेलामा श्रीमान्ले ट्वाइलेट फ्लस गरेर पानीको चाप कम गराइदिए भने घरै उचाल्ने गरी चिच्याउने । श्रीमान्लाई मज्जासँग गाली गर्ने -भद्दा शब्द प्रयोग गरे पनि केही फरक पर्दैन) ।

नुहाइसकेपछि त्रिपालजत्रो रुमालले जिउ पुछ्ने । पानी सोस्ने अर्काे रुमाल टाउकोमा बेर्ने ।

बेडरुममा जाने र लुगा लगाउन साढे एक घन्टा बिताउने ।

Title: Re: How to bath (in Nepali)
Post by: tundikhel on June 24, 2010, 09:46:51 PM
पुरुष

लुगा फुकाल्ने र ओछ्यानतिर मिल्काउने

फूर्तिसाथ बाथरुममा नांगै पस्ने । श्रीमती भेटिइन् भने फरक्क उनीपट्ट िर्फकेर आफ्नो '... ... ...

नाच्ने र कुनै गीत सुसेल्ने ।

ऐनामा आफ्नो शरीर नियाल्ने । र, तिघ्राभन्दा माथि कन्याउँदै आफ्नो जिउडालको मनमनै प्रशंसा गर्ने ।

गीत गाउँदै नुहाउन थाल्ने ।

जिउ माड्ने कपडा खोज्नतिर नलाग्ने, किनभने तपाईं त्यस्ता चिज प्रयोग नै गर्नुहुन्न

मुख धुने ।

काखी सफा गर्ने ।

पूरै नुहाउँदाको करिब ७० प्रतिशत समय आफ्नो 'निजी अंग' को सरसफाइमा बिताउने ।

कति ठूलो आवाजमा अपान वायु निकाल्न सक्नुहुन्छ, त्यसको परीक्षण गर्ने ।

स्याम्पुले नुहाउने, तर कन्डिसनर प्रयोग नगर्ने

बाथटबमा बसेर घरी-घरी ऐना हेर्ने ।

नुहाउँदै पिसाब फेर्ने या पिसाब फेर्दै नुहाउने ।

नुहाइसकेपछि फेरि ऐनामा हेर्ने र फेरि आफ्नो जिउडालको प्रशंसा गर्ने ।

बाथरुमको पंखा बन्द गर्न र बत्ती निभाउन बिर्सनुहोस् ।

रुमाल बेरेर बाथरुमबाट बाहिर निस्कनुहोस् । श्रीमतीले देखिन् भने रुमाल खुस्काइदिनुस् र अघिजस्तै

कम्मर हल्लाएर नाच्नुहोस् ।

चिसो रुमाल बेडमा फ्याँकिदिनुहोस् र दुई मिनेटमा लुगा लगाइभ्याउनुहोस् ।
Title: Re: How to bath (in Nepali)
Post by: luckykhadka on July 04, 2010, 09:29:04 PM
nice
Title: Re: How to bath (in Nepali)
Post by: ratamakai on July 05, 2010, 01:28:03 AM
good one !!
Title: Re: How to bath (in Nepali)
Post by: Pavitra on July 05, 2010, 05:04:08 PM
LMFAO...................
Title: Sad but funny love story
Post by: m_back_again on September 18, 2010, 01:13:07 PM
http://www.ziddu.com/download/11722118/Sad_But_Funny_Love.3gp.html (http://www.ziddu.com/download/11722118/Sad_But_Funny_Love.3gp.html)
Title: किन Guys are always happy creatures ?
Post by: tundikhel on December 12, 2010, 02:40:55 AM
Guys are always happy creatures, why ?

Their last name stays with them forever.

They can never be pregnant.

Phone conversations last 30 sec flat wid hs gf/wife bt wid othr grls they can talk 4 hrs 2gthr.

A 5 day vacation req only 1 suitcase.

If someone forgets to invite them, he / she can still be their friend.

The same hairstyle lasts for years or even decades.

They only have to shave their face n neck.
Title: Re: किन Guys are always happy creatures ?
Post by: tundikhel on December 12, 2010, 02:41:32 AM
They can do christmas shopping for 25 relatives on dec 24 in 25 mins.

They dont freak out when they go 2 a party n see another man wearing d same shirt,

instead they become buddies.

By - Prakash Poudel
Title: Re: किन Guys are always happy creatures ?
Post by: evilkrugknot on December 12, 2010, 09:12:38 AM
Dami cha bro...
Title: Re: किन Guys are always happy creatures ?
Post by: prateek on December 12, 2010, 03:02:30 PM
They don't bleed every month.
Title: Re: किन Guys are always happy creatures ?
Post by: tundikhel on December 12, 2010, 03:47:21 PM
They don't bleed every month.


Important point missed !
Thanks prateek for reminding :)
Title: Re: किन Guys are always happy creatures ?
Post by: pradman03 on December 12, 2010, 04:32:54 PM
ya y a....they bleed ..but white instead of red...and whenever they like...in own's control ..unlike red...
Title: Re: किन Guys are always happy creatures ?
Post by: khatee on December 13, 2010, 04:42:03 PM
no need to take off the pants if they want to pee
Title: Re: किन Guys are always happy creatures ?
Post by: tundikhel on December 17, 2010, 10:30:43 AM
केहि सत्य हरु

‎Men are like ....... Laxatives ..... They irritate the shit out of you.


Men are like ....... Bananas ...... The older they get, the less firm they are.


Men are like ....... Weather ..... Nothing can be done to change them.


Men are like ....... Blenders .... You need One, but you're not quite sure why.


Men are like ..... Chocolate Bars .... Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.


Men are like .... Commercials ...... You can't believe a word they say.


Men are like ..... Department Stores ..... Their clothes are always 1/2 off.


Men are like ....... Government Bonds ..... They take soooooooo long to mature.


Men are like ...... Mascara ...... They usually run at the first sign of emotion.


Men are like ...... Popcorn ..... They satisfy you, but only for a little while.


Men are like .... Snowstorms .... You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.


Men are like ....... Lava Lamps ... Fun to look at, but not very bright.
Title: Letter to Dad
Post by: tundikhel on June 18, 2011, 02:11:21 PM
Letter home from school...

Dear Dad,

$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply can't think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.

Love,
Your $on.
Title: Re: Letter to Dad
Post by: tundikhel on June 18, 2011, 02:11:33 PM
A week later..... a letter from "home"

Dear Son,

I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.

Love,
Dad
Title: Engineers and Managers
Post by: tundikhel on June 18, 2011, 02:14:24 PM
Engineers and Managers

A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts:

"Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"

The man below says: "Yes, you're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."

You must be an engineer" says the balloonist.

"I am" replies the man. "How did you know."

"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but it's no use to anyone."

The man below says "you must be in management."

"I am" replies the balloonist, "but how did you know?"

"Well," says the man, "you don't know where you are, or where you're going, but you expect me to be able to help. You're in the same position you were before we met, but now it's my fault."
Title: English
Post by: tundikhel on June 18, 2011, 02:15:14 PM

The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).

In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c". Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy.

Also, the hard "c" will be replaced with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20 per sent shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" by "z" and "w" by " v".

During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst place....
Title: Gambling Problem
Post by: tundikhel on June 18, 2011, 02:18:22 PM

During an IRS audit, the auditor looked at the tax payer and exclaimed...

... "Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable."

"I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it," says Ralph. "How about a demonstration?"

The auditor thinks for a moment and said, "Okay. Go ahead."
Ralph says, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye."

The auditor thinks a moment and says, "No way! It's a bet."

Ralph removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops.

Ralph says, "Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye."

The auditor can tell Ralph isn't blind, so he takes the bet.

Ralph removes his dentures and bites his good eye. The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Ralph's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.

"Want to go double or nothing?" Ralph asks. "I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between."

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this guy can manage that stunt, so he agrees again.

Ralph stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, and urinates all over the desk.
The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win.

But Ralph's attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.

"Are you okay?" the auditor asks.

"Not really," says the attorney. "This morning, when Ralph told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty thousand dollars that he could come in here and pee all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it."
Title: Re: Engineering Measurement
Post by: m_back_again on June 23, 2011, 11:26:14 AM
haha very funny
Title: A prayer - ammendement :)
Post by: tundikhel on June 24, 2011, 11:47:46 AM
An important Circular from GOD: .

"Lying on bed with somebody & screaming OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD, will not be consider as PRAYER."
Title: do you know what sucks ??
Post by: tundikhel on August 12, 2011, 08:36:53 AM
(http://xnepali.com/i1/th/ooh1313117488e.jpg) (http://xnepali.com/i1/viewer.php?id=ooh1313117488e.jpg)
Title: Re: do you know what sucks ??
Post by: m_back_again on September 22, 2011, 07:39:33 AM
funny
Title: Counting in Letters 'A', 'B', 'C' & 'D'
Post by: tundikhel on January 12, 2012, 09:05:48 AM
Interesting Observation !

Letters 'A', 'B', 'C' & 'D'  Do Not Appear Anywhere in the Spellings of 1 to 99

(Letter 'D' Comes For The First Time in Hundred)

Letters 'A', 'B' & 'C'  Do Not Appear Anywhere in the Spellings of 1 to 999
(Letter 'A' Comes For The First Time in in Thousand)


Letters 'B' & 'C'
Do Not Appear Anywhere in the Spellings of 1 to 999,999,999
(Letter 'B' Comes For The First Time in in Billion)
.
And
Letter 'C' Does Not Appear Anywhere in the Spellings Of Entire English Counting.
"C" only Appears First time in crore !!


.
.
Moral : Everyone Has To Wait For
His Turn..
Think Of IT.

by रविन्द्र अधिकारी
Title: Re: Counting in Letters 'A', 'B', 'C' & 'D'
Post by: prateek on January 12, 2012, 10:51:41 AM
good observation
Title: New Inventions by Blondes
Post by: tundikhel on January 16, 2012, 08:53:30 AM

The water-proof towel

Glow in the dark sunglasses

Solar powered flashlights

Submarine screen doors

A book on how to read

Inflatable dart boards

A dictionary index

Powdered water
Title: Re: New Inventions by Blondes
Post by: tundikhel on January 16, 2012, 08:54:01 AM
more inventions :


Pedal powered wheel chairs

Water proof tea bags

Watermelon seed sorter

Zero proof alcohol

Reusable ice cubes

See through toilet tissue

Skinless bananas

Do it yourself roadmap

Helicopter ejector seat
Title: Re: New Inventions by Blondes
Post by: hot on January 17, 2012, 02:58:32 AM
lol ... "Glow in the dark sunglasses"
Title: English is a funny language
Post by: tundikhel on January 31, 2012, 02:08:34 AM
1. Principal to student..." I saw u yesterday rotating near girls hostel pulling cigarette... ? "

2. Class teacher once said :" pick up the paper and fall in the dustbin!!!"

3. once Hindi teacher said...."I'm going out of the world to America.."

4. "..DON'T TRY TO TALK IN FRONT OF MY BACK.."

5. don't..laugh at the back benches...otherwise teeth and all will be fallen down.....

6. It was very hot in the afternoon when the teacher entered.. She tried to switch the fan on, but there was some problem. and then she said " why is fan not oning" (ing form of on)

7. Teacher in a furious mood... write down ur name and father of ur name!!

8. "shhh... quiet... the principal is revolving around college"

9. My manager started like this "Hi, I am Madhu, Married with two kids"

10. "will u hang that calendar or else I'll HANG MYSELF"

11. LIBRARIAN SCOLDE ," IF U WILL TALK AGAIN , I WILL KNEEL DOWN OUTSIDE"

12. Chemistry HOD comes and tells us... "My aim is to study my son and marry my daughter"

13. Tomorrow call ur parents especially mother and father

14. "why are you looking at the monkeys outside when I am in the class?!"

15. Lab assistant said this when my friend wrote wrong code.. "I understand. You understand. Computer how understand??

16. Seeing the principal passing by, the teacher told the noisy class.. "Keep quiet, the principal has passed away"

17. Once Teacher Told "If u Talk So Loudly I Will Stand Uping U"

18. teacher to students:don't spit outside, the understanding people will suffer

19. i have 3 daughters, all are girl

collected by - killer PJ.


Teacher to students fooling around - go to class without moving

Teacher to student sitting near the window - open the window and let the environment come in.

by- rethink
Title: Re: Fun Stuffs (different topics merged)
Post by: anand on March 20, 2015, 11:31:18 PM
Bad news: there is no key to happiness..

Good news : it isn't locked... :)
Title: Re: Fun Stuffs (different topics merged)
Post by: affu933 on May 13, 2015, 07:10:37 PM
lol there is some really awesome kinda joke pics i found :D