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xNepali Forum => Fun Stuffs / Literature => Topic started by: NepDude on December 15, 2006, 10:21:54 AM

Title: Sardar ji joke series
Post by: NepDude on December 15, 2006, 10:21:54 AM
1.
Sardar ji is buying a TV
"Do you have color TVs?"
"Sure."
"Give me a green one, please."

2.

Sardar Ji calls RNAC (or is it NAC now).

"How long does it take to fly to Pokhara?"
"Just a sec," says the rep.
Thank you." says the Sardar ji and hangs up.

3.

Sardarji goes into a store and sees a shiny object.
He asks the clerk, "What is that shiny object?"
The clerk replies, "That is a Thermos flask."
The Sardar asks, "What does it do?"
The clerk responds, "Keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."
The Sardar says, "I'll take it!"
The next day, he walks into work with his new Thermos.
His Sardar boss sees him and asks, "What is that shiny object with you?"
He said, "It's a Thermos flask."
The boss asks, "What does it do?"
He replies, "Keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."
The boss said, "Wow, what do you have in it?"
The Sardar replies, "Two cups of coffee and a coke."

Wash Basin
A Sardarji goes to a hotel and eats heartily. After eating he goes to wash his hands but starts washing the basin instead. The manager comes running and asks him, "Prahji, what are you doing?" To this the man replies, "Oye, You have placed the board telling to wash the basin."
Well, the board hung there was "Wash Basin".

Title: Re: Sardar ji joke series
Post by: NepDude on December 15, 2006, 10:24:26 AM
5. Three Engines

Fifteen minutes into the flight from Kathmandu to Pokhara, the captain announced, "Ladies and gentlemen, one of our engines has failed. There is nothing to worry about. Our flight will take an hour longer than scheduled, but we still have three engines left." Thirty minutes later the captain announced, "One more engine has failed and the flight will take an additional two hours. But don't worry ... we can fly just fine on two engines." An hour later the captain announced, "One more engine has failed and our arrival will be delayed another three hours.But don't worry ... we still have one engine left." A sardarji passenger turned to the man in the next seat and remarked, "If we lose one more engine, we'll be up here all day!"
Title: Re: Sardar ji joke series
Post by: NepDude on December 15, 2006, 10:25:17 AM
6. Detective Job

Three men were applying for the same job as a detective. One was a Sardarji, one was Jewish, and one was Italian. The chief decided to ask each applicant just one question and base his decision upon that answer. When the Jewish man arrived for his interview, the chief asked him, "Who killed Jesus Christ?" The Jewish man answered without hesitation. "The Romans killed him." The chief thanked him and he left. When the Italian man arrived for his interview, the chief asked the Same question. He replied "Jesus was killed by the Jews." Again, the chief thanked the man who then left. Finally the Sardarji arrived for his interview, he was asked the same question. He thought for a long time, before saying,"Could I have some time to think about it?" The chief said,"OK, but get back to me tomorrow." When the Sardarji arrived home, his wife asked "How was the interview ?". Sardarji replied, "Great, I got the job, and I'm already investigating a murder.
Title: Re: Sardar ji joke series
Post by: NepDude on December 15, 2006, 10:26:12 AM
7.Answering machine

Sardarji fixed an answering machine at home.
Two days later he disconnected it because he was getting complaints like "Saala phone utha ke bolta hai ghar pe nahin hai."
Title: Re: Sardar ji joke series
Post by: NepDude on December 15, 2006, 10:26:44 AM
8. Businessman

A sardar invested 2 Lakhs in a business and Suffered huge Loss. Do u know what the business was? . . . .. . . . . .. . . He opened a Saloon in Punjab!
Title: Re: Sardar ji joke series
Post by: NepDude on December 15, 2006, 10:27:19 AM
9. A Teacher lecturing on population

In India after every 10 sec a woman gives birth to a kid.
A Sardar stands up and says:- We must find & stop her!.
Title: Re: Sardar ji joke series
Post by: NepDude on December 15, 2006, 10:27:52 AM
10. What does Sardarji do when he has one white sheet and wants an extrasheet?
.
.
.
.
.
.

He makes a photocopy of the white sheet.
Title: Re: Sardar ji joke series
Post by: NepDude on December 15, 2006, 10:28:16 AM
11 Sardarji is buying a tv

Sardarji went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain.
"I would like to buy this small TV," he told the salesman.
"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," he replied.
He hurried home removed his turban and changed his hair style, and returned
to tell the salesman
"I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," Salesman replied.
"Damn, he recognised me," he thought.
He went for a complete disguise this time, haircut, new hair colour,
new outfit, big sunglasses, waited a few days, saw the salesman again.
"I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," he replied.
Frustrated, he exclaimed, "How do you know I'm a Sardar?"
"Because that's a microwave," he replied.
Title: Re: Sardar ji joke series
Post by: Xteam on December 21, 2006, 05:38:31 AM
ha.ha.... nice post nepdedu keep iot up
Title: Re: Sardar ji joke series
Post by: hot on December 25, 2006, 12:32:13 PM
They are great

Let me add some more:----

Sardar got into a bus on 1st April when conductor asked for ticket.
He gave Rs.10/- and took the ticket and said April fool. I have pass.

Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the
computer. Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Sardar : Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.

2 sardars were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1 : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
sardar 2 : Dont worry, I have one more.

Sardar was busy removing a wheel from his auto. A man asks sardar why
areyou removing a wheel from your auto.
sardar : Cant you read the board. Parking is only for 2 wheeler.

Sardar : What is the name of your car ?
Lady : I forgot the name, but is starts with "T".
Sardar : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai. Hamaara gaadi petrol se start hoti hai.

Boss : Where were you born ?
sardar : Punjab.
Boss : which part ?
sardar : Kya which part ? Whole body born in punjab.

How will you destroy a submarine full of sardars ?
Simple. Just knock the door and they will open it.
Title: Re: Sardar ji joke series
Post by: Xteam on January 16, 2007, 12:01:59 AM
GReat THanx for Sharing US... Thankyou Again HOt Bro And NEpdedu KEep POsting
Title: Re: Sardar ji joke series
Post by: xnepali on March 14, 2007, 12:31:13 AM

Sardarji is trying to commit suicide on the railway tracks and he takes along some wine and chicken with him. Somebody stops him and asks
"kyon bhai ye sab kyon leke baithe ho?"
Sardarji replies
"Saali train late aati hai kahin bhook se na marjaun"








A sardarji goes to the see Jurassic Park and when the Dinosaurs start
approaching he is cowering in his seat when his friend asks him
"kyon sardarji, kya baat hai? Dar kyon lag raha hai cinema hi to hai"
Sardarji replies "Aadmi hoon aur akkal hai, pata hai ki cinema hai lekin voh to janwar hai, usko kya pata







A Sardar took an answering machine home and fixed it home somewhere in Rajasthan, but two days later disconnected it because he was getting complaints like
"Saala phone utha ke bolta hai ghar pe nahin hai"





Sardarji calls Air India. "How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?"
Just a sec," says the rep.
Thank you." says the Sardarji and hangs up.
Title: Re: Sardar ji joke series
Post by: Xteam on March 14, 2007, 12:32:24 PM
GOOD ONE THANK YOU FOR POSTING
Title: >>>>>>>>>>Joke of the day<<<<<<<<<<<<
Post by: Xteam on March 16, 2007, 01:51:24 PM
Employer:.. In this job we need someone sho is responsible
Applicant:...I'm the one you want . On my last job, every time anything went wrong they said was responsible.....

If you like my post please reply and rep me thank you Advance......
Title: Re: >>>>>>>>>>Joke of the day<<<<<<<<<<<<
Post by: Xteam on March 22, 2007, 06:08:24 PM
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses.
He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed.
The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services.
He gasps: "my friend is dead! What can i do?" The operator says: "calm down, i can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."

There is a silence, then a shot is heard.
Back on the phone, the guy says: "Ok, now what?"
Title: Re: >>>>>>>>>>Joke of the day<<<<<<<<<<<<
Post by: Xteam on March 22, 2007, 06:09:20 PM
A Pakistani, Bangladeshi and a Sardar are in a bar one night having a beer.

The Pakistani drinks his beer and suddenly throws his glass in the air, pulls out a gun and shoots the glass to pieces.
He says "In Islamabad our glasses are so cheap that we don't need to drink from the same one twice."

The Bangladeshi [obviously impressed by this] drinks his beer, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his gun and shoots the glass to pieces.
He says "In Dhaka we have so much sand to make the glasses that we don't need to drink out of the same glass twice either."

The Sardar , cool as a cucumber, picks up his beer and drinks it, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his gun and shoots the Pakistani and Bangladeshi.
He says "In Delhi we have so many Pakis and Bangladeshi that we don't need to drink with the same ones twice."
Title: Re: >>>>>>>>>>Joke of the day<<<<<<<<<<<<
Post by: Xteam on March 23, 2007, 11:13:53 AM
Scene:
trench warfare on Pakistan border, Sikh regiment on one side, suddenly Adbul Hussain gets a bright idea, shouts! "Oye Babeer Singh!" Guy pops up from other trench "Kya hai be" BANG shot dead!
"Oye Sardar Singh" 10 guys stand up, "Kya hai saala" BANG BANG both khalaas.
"Oye Rajinder!" 2 more, BANG-BANG! dono saale khalaas!
Indians get worried, they think saala Paki log, when did they get so smart? Decide to try it themselves.
Indian: "Abe Mustafa".... silence.
Indian: "Oye Abdul!!".... silence.
Indian: "O bhai, Mustafa!"
Paki: "Oye Mustafa aur Abdul ko kaun bula raha hai re?"
Indian gets up, "Mein" BANG!


NO OFFENCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Title: Indian cricket jokes 2
Post by: rokaboka on April 18, 2007, 06:31:42 AM
Title: Jokes (Sardarji)
Post by: r1p2b6 on May 30, 2007, 10:05:23 AM
1. Sardar: about a running race
Sardar: why are all these people running?
Man: This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
Sardar: If only the winner will get the cup, why are others running?

2. Sardarji filling application form
Sardarji was filling up application form for a job. He was not sure as
to what to be filled in column "Salary Expected".
After much thought he wrote : Yes !
Title: Re: Jokes (Sardarji)
Post by: r1p2b6 on May 30, 2007, 10:07:16 AM
3. Sardar and his daughter
A man came running in to the sardar's office and cried-
  "Santa ! Your daughter has died"
  Depressed, Sardar jumps from 100th floor!
  .
  .
  .
  At 50 th floor he remembers I don't have a daughter!
  .
  .
  At 25 floor: I'm unmarried !
  .
  .
  At 10 floor : he remembers "I'm Banta not santa"
 
4. Sardar wins a lottery
Sardar wins 20 cr from Rs. 20 lottery ticket. Dealer gave him 11 cr after deducting tax.
Angry Sardar: "Give me 20 cr or else return my 20 Rs back.!
Title: Re: Jokes (Sardarji)
Post by: r1p2b6 on May 30, 2007, 10:08:53 AM
5. Sardar and romantic date
On a ROMANTIC dare sardar's girl friend asks him, "Darling on our
engagement will you give me a ring?"
Cooly replies: Ya sure, what's your phone numner.....


6. Sardar proposed a girl
Sardar proposed a Girl
  .
  .
  .
Girl said 'I'm 1 year elder to you'  .
  .
  .
Sardar said 'Oye No Problem Soniye, I'll marry you NEXT YEAR.
Title: Re: Jokes (Sardarji)
Post by: r1p2b6 on May 30, 2007, 10:10:15 AM
7. Sardar writing to his son
Sardar was writing something very slowly.
Friend asked:" Why r u writing so slowly?
Sardar: "I'm writing 2 my 6 yr old son, he can't read very fast.


8. Sardar on Manmohan singh
A man asked sardarji, why Manmohan singh goes walking at evening not in the morning.
Sardarji replied ''Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM''
Title: Re: Jokes (Sardarji)
Post by: gigolo on May 31, 2007, 11:11:13 AM
nice jokes
Title: Re: Jokes (Sardarji)
Post by: r1p2b6 on May 31, 2007, 12:20:20 PM
Dhanyabad gigolo
Title: Re: Jokes (Sardarji)
Post by: Xteam on May 31, 2007, 05:18:05 PM
good collection gigolo please keep it up
Title: Re: Jokes (Sardarji)
Post by: r1p2b6 on June 01, 2007, 08:29:33 AM
Ke ho Xteam ji
Kam garne kalu makai khane bhalu
Title: Re: Jokes (Sardarji)
Post by: r1p2b6 on June 01, 2007, 09:24:38 AM
Urine Test
Two sardarjis were sitting outside a clinic. One of them was crying like anything.
So the other asked, "Why are you crying?"
The first one replied, "I came here for blood test"
Second one asked, "So? Are you afraid?"
First one replied, "No, not that. During the blood test they cut my finger"
Hearing this the second one started crying. The first one was astonished and asked other, "Why are you crying?"
The other replied, "I have come for my urine test."
Title: Re: Jokes (Sardarji)
Post by: r1p2b6 on June 01, 2007, 09:25:46 AM
Sardar ji is buying a TV
"Do you have color TVs?"
"Sure."
"Give me a green one, please."
***************************************
***************************************
Sardar Ji calls Air India.
"How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?"
"Just a sec," says the rep.
Thank you." says the Sardar ji and hangs up.
Title: Re: Jokes (Sardarji)
Post by: r1p2b6 on June 01, 2007, 09:26:45 AM
Sardarji goes into a store and sees a shiny object.
He asks the clerk, "What is that shiny object?"
The clerk replies, "That is a Thermos flask."
The Sardar asks, "What does it do?"
The clerk responds, "Keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."
The Sardar says, "I'll take it!"
The next day, he walks into work with his new Thermos.
His Sardar boss sees him and asks, "What is that shiny object with you?"
He said, "It's a Thermos flask."
The boss asks, "What does it do?"
He replies, "Keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."
The boss said, "Wow, what do you have in it?"
The Sardar replies, "Two cups of coffee and a coke."
Title: Re: Jokes (Sardarji)
Post by: r1p2b6 on June 01, 2007, 09:27:58 AM
Sardarji fixed an answering machine at home.
Two days later he disconnected it because he was getting complaints
like "Saala phone utha ke bolta hai ghar pe nahin hai."
**************************************************************

What does Sardarji do after taking photocopies?
He compares it with the original for spelling mistakes.
****************************************************************

What does Sardarji do when he has one white sheet and wants an extra
sheet?
He makes a photocopy of the white sheet.
Title: Re: Jokes (Sardarji)
Post by: Xteam on June 01, 2007, 06:40:53 PM
upsssssssssss.....r1p sorry hai.. keep it up ahi aaune din haru
Title: Re: Jokes (Sardarji)
Post by: r1p2b6 on June 03, 2007, 09:53:28 AM
Thanks Xteam
Title: Re: Jokes (Sardarji)
Post by: r1p2b6 on June 03, 2007, 09:54:44 AM
There was a meeting of all the Surd freedom fighters.
They were planning for a free Punjab. Santa Singh raised a point,
"Oh...we'll take Punjab from India but how would we develop it?"
That was a tough one indeed. Banta Singh had a brainwave...
"No problem! We'll attack Amrika, it would take over us and then
we would become a State of USA and develop automatically."
All the surds became happy with this very simple solution but an old surd
was not. Someone asked him why he wasn't happy.
The old surd replied, "THAT'S ALL VERY WELL...WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF BY CHANCE
WE TOOK OVER AMRIKA???"
 
Title: Re: Jokes (Sardarji)
Post by: r1p2b6 on June 03, 2007, 09:56:32 AM
Sardarji went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain.
"I would like to buy this small TV," he told the salesman.
"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," he replied.
He hurried home removed his turban and changed his hair style, and returned
to tell the salesman
"I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," Salesman replied.
"Damn, he recognised me," he thought.
He went for a complete disguise this time, haircut, new hair colour,
new outfit, big sunglasses, waited a few days, saw the salesman again.
"I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," he replied.
Frustrated, he exclaimed, "How do you know I'm a Sardar?"
"Because that's a microwave," he replied.
Title: Re: Jokes (Sardarji)
Post by: r1p2b6 on June 03, 2007, 09:58:05 AM
Why did 18 Sardars go to a movie?
Because below 18 was not allowed.
******************************************

How do you measure Sardarji's intelligence?
Stick a tire pressure gauge in his ear
********************************************

Sardarji proposes to a woman. She says yes if you bring me a pair of crocodile boots. He sets off to Africa and disappears. Finally a search is being made, they find him hunting crocodiles and watch him killing a huge one. He walks over the reptile, checks its legs and angrily exclaims "71st and *again* barefoot!"
***************************************************************************************
Title: Re: Jokes (Sardarji)
Post by: r1p2b6 on June 03, 2007, 09:59:58 AM
What do you do when a Sardar throws a hand grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back.
************************************************************

What do you do when a Sardar throws a pin at you?
Run like crazy....he's got a hand grenade in his mouth.
********************************************************************

How do you make a Sardar laugh on Saturday?
Tell him a joke on Wednesday.
****************************************************************

What is the Sardar doing when he holds his hands tightly over his ears?
Trying to hold on to a thought.
***************************************************************

Why do Sardars work seven days a week?
So you don't have to re-train them on Monday.
****************************************************************
Title: Re: Jokes (Sardarji)
Post by: r1p2b6 on June 03, 2007, 10:04:43 AM
Why can't Sardars make ice cubes?
They always forget the recipe.
*********************************

How did the Sardar try to kill the bird?
He threw it off a cliff.
*********************************

What do you call 10 Sardars standing ear to ear?
A wind tunnel
******************************************
What do you see when you look into a Sardar's eyes?
The back of his head.
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-**-*-*-*-*-*-*

What do you call a Sardar who drinks only beer?
Just-beer Singh ('T' silent!).
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

What do you call a Sardar who has only one drink?
Just-one Singh.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Why does Sardar always smile during lightning storms?
They think their picture is being taken.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Why does Sardar have "TGIF" written on their shoes?
Toes Go In First.
**********************************************

How can you tell when Sardar sends you a fax?
It has a stamp on it.
-----------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------

Why can't Sardar dial 911?
They can not find the eleven on the phone
------------------------------------------------------------

How do you get Sardar on the roof?
Tell him the drinks are on the house.
*************************************************

29- "Oh, look at the dead bird." Sardar looked skyward and said "Where, Where?

What do smart Sardar and UFOs have in common?
You always hear about them but you never see them.
*****************************************************************
Why does it take longer to build a Sardar snowman as opposed to a regular one?
You have to hollow out the head.
*****************************************************************

The doctor told Sardarji that if he ran eight kilometres a day for 300 days, he would loose 34 kilos. At the end of 300 days, Sardarji called the doctor to report he had lost the weight, but he had a problem.
"What's the problem?" asked the doctor.
"I'm 2400 kms from home."
*****************************************************************

Sardars Hari Singh and Gani Singh are in a railway station.
Hari Singh asks the clerk: "Can I take this train to Ludhiana?"
"No," answers the Railway man.
"Can I?" asks Gani Singh.
*****************************************************************

A Sardarji goes to the see Jurassic Park and when the Dinosaurs start approaching he is cowering in his seat when his friend asks him "Kyon Sardarji, kya baat hai? Dar kyon lag raha hai cinema hi to hai"
Sardarji replies "Aadmi hoon aur akkal hai, pata hai ki cinema hai lekin voh to janwar hai, usko kya pata "
*****************************************************************

Sardarji is trying to commit suicide on the railway tracks and he takesalong some wine and chicken with him.
Somebody stops him and asks "kyon bhai ye sab kyon leke baithe ho?"
Sardarji replies "Saali train late aati hai kahin bhook se na marjaun"
Title: Re: Jokes (Sardarji)
Post by: r1p2b6 on June 04, 2007, 09:10:15 AM
Once a Sardarji was travelling on a train. He felt sleepy so he gave the guy sitting opposite him on the train 20 rupees to wake him up when the station arrived. This guy was a barber, and he felt that for 20 Rupees, the Sardarji deserved more service. So, when the Sardarji fell asleep, the barber quietly shaved off his beard. When the station arrived, the Sardarji was woken up, and he went home. Reaching home, he went to wash his face, and suddenly screamed when he saw the mirror.
Said his wife " What's the matter?"
Replied he "The cheat on the train has taken my 20 rupees and woken up someone else"
***************************************************************************************

Having lost his donkey a Sardarji, got down to his knees and started thanking God. A passerby saw him and asked, "Your donkey is missing; what are you thanking God for?" The Sardarji replied "I am thanking Him for seeing to it that I wasn't riding the donkey at that time, otherwise I would have been missing too."
Title: Re: Jokes (Sardarji)
Post by: r1p2b6 on June 04, 2007, 09:11:08 AM
Sardarji got the 4th child. He fills data in the birth certificate
"Mother: Sikh. Father: Sikh. Kid: Chinese."
"How come you write "Chinese" when both parents are Sikh?"
" Aah, read a newspaper, it says that every 4th person born on the Earth now is a Chinese."
*********************************************************************************

Two dogs, Rubi and Moti, and a Sardarji were sent to the outer space. The ground control issues commands "Rubi!" "Woof!" (it's the barking sound)
"Press the red button." "Woof! Woof!" "Moti!"
"Woof!" "Press the white button." "Woof! Woof!" "Sardarji!" "Woof."
Stop barking, feed the dogs and don't touch anything!"
Title: Re: Jokes (Sardarji)
Post by: r1p2b6 on June 04, 2007, 09:12:06 AM
Sardarji is in Delhi. He is walking on a street which has Clock Tower when someone asks him if he wants to buy the clock on the Tower. Sardarji says "Yes".
"Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder." The man took the thousand and disappeared. Having waited for several hours the Sardarji figured he was taken for a ride. On the next day the Sardarji is again walking along the same street and the same man asks him to buy the clock. "Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder."
The Sardarji gives him the thousand and says "I am not a fool.This time, you wait and I'll go get a ladder."
Title: Re: Jokes (Sardarji)
Post by: r1p2b6 on June 04, 2007, 09:14:14 AM
Santa Singh and Banta Singh were sitting on a tree and Santa Singh was singing a song. After 4 songs Santa Singh hung himself upside down and started singing again. Banta Singh : Santa Singh, what is the matter with you? Why are you hanging upside down.
Santa Singh : I am singing the B side.
*****************************************************************************************
 
This sardarji goes to see Jurassic Park and when the Dinosaurs start approaching he is cowering in his seat when his friend asks him ;kyon sardarji, kya baat hai? Dar kyon lag raha hai cinema hi to hai.;
Sardarji replies ;Aadmi hoon aur akkal hai, pata hai ki cinema hai, lekin voh to janwar hai, usko kya pata"
Title: Re: Jokes (Sardarji)
Post by: r1p2b6 on June 04, 2007, 09:15:20 AM
A sardarji with two red ears went to his doctor. The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered, ;I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang - but instead of picking up the phone I acccidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear.;
Oh Dear!; the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. But ... what happened to the other ear?;
The scoundrel called back. SAID SARDARJI;
****************************************************************************************
 
Sardar Gurbachan Singh is appearing for his University final examination. He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his shoes off and throws them out of the window. He then removes his turban and throws it away as well. His shirt, pant, socks and watch follow suit. The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on. Oye, I am only following the instructions 'Answer in brief'.
Title: Re: Jokes (Sardarji)
Post by: xnepali on June 04, 2007, 11:01:48 AM
funny!!

Thanks r1p2b6
Title: Re: Jokes (Sardarji)
Post by: r1p2b6 on June 04, 2007, 11:17:31 AM
funny!!

Thanks r1p2b6
Thanks Nep bro
Title: Re: Jokes (Sardarji)
Post by: r1p2b6 on June 07, 2007, 10:30:59 AM
Banta Singh finished his English exam and came out.
His friends asked him how did he do his exam, for that he replied
 Exam was okay, but for the past tense of THINK,
I thought, and thought, and thought ... and at last I wrote THUNK !!!;
*****************************************************************
Once a Sardarji was travelling on a train.
He felt sleepy so he gave the guy sitting opposite him on the train 20 rupees
to wake him up when the station arrived.
This guy was a barber, and he felt that for 20 rupees , the sardarji deserved more service. So, when the Sardarji fell asleep, the barber quietly shaved off his beard.
When the station arrived, the Sardarji was woken up, and he went home.
Reaching home, he went to wash his face, and suddenly screamed
when he saw the mirror. Asked a person next to him ;
What's the matter?; Replied he ;
The cheat on the train has taken my 20 rupees and woken up someone else.;
Title: Re: Jokes (Sardarji)
Post by: r1p2b6 on June 07, 2007, 10:33:40 AM
There's a funeral procession of a sardar going on a busy street. All the sardars in the 'mayyat' are dancing the bhangra and singing and general 'balle balle' is on. The people on the street find it strange that instead of mourning everyone is celebrating as if its marriage baraat. So one of them asks Santa Singh, ;Singh Saab, aapka koi sage wala gujar gaya hai aur aap naach rahe ho?; .....comes the reply, ;Haan ji! Hai hi baat badi kushi ki!!! Aaj paheli baar ek sardar brain tumour se mara hai!!!;
****************************************************************************************
 
So this sardarji is walking the other day and comes across a banana peel on the road. Can you guess what he might be thinking?? ' Saala aaj bhi girna padega...
-*-*-*-*-*-****************************---------------------****************-------------------**************-------------------------------------************************-------------------------
 
One great day in Bombay, a couple were on a honeymoon tour. They saw one sardarji in front of a hospital was trying to fill some form. So the couple enquired eagerly; Aare Sardarji kya kar raahe ho.; Sardarji replied that I had a baby and I am filling the birth certificate form. The couple as per schedule took the Bombay to Delhi Flight for their next destination. On the next day, they find the same Sardarji, in front of Lal Qilla in Delhi filling the same form. So once again young couple curiously asked; Aare Sardarji kya kar raahe ho; sardarji once again replied I had a baby and I am filling the birth certificate form; The couple said but sardarji yesterday you were in Bombay filling the same form, how come you're in Delhi? Sardarji cooly replied Aare yehttp form mein leekha hey ke FILL IN CAPITALS.
Title: Re: Jokes (Sardarji)
Post by: r1p2b6 on June 07, 2007, 10:41:37 AM
Two Sardarjis were in conversation on the beach :
Sardarji 1 :Praaji , Ise 'beach' kyo kaheete hai ?
Sardarji 2 : Tumhe nahe pata ?
Sardarji 1 : Nahe pata.
Sardarji 2 : Woh to Aasmaan aur Zameen ke beech mein hai esliye eesai beach kahete hai .
**********************************************************************************

Rajsi complained to his friend about his wife ' My wife never agrees with anything I say. And we have been married for six years .' Mrs Rajsi intervened, ' Not six we have been married for seven years !
******************************************************************************************

A Sardarji, very proud of his humour used to say to his wife leaving for the office : 'Good bye Char Bacchon ki Maa' . One day his wife fed up of this answered : ' Bye Bye, Doo Bacchon Ke Baap'. That ended the husband's witticisms.
******************************************************************************************

Avtar & Kartar used to stay in same building . Avtar on the Ground floor & Kartar on the 25thfloor. One day when the lift was not working, Kartar invited Avtar for a Dinner. Avtar trudged up to 25th floor to find Kartar's flat closed from outside and had a note which read : 'How did you enjoy your dinner ? ' Not to be outdone , Avtar wrote under it, 'Sorry , I could not make it .
******************************************************************************************

''Take me to the 10th floor,' said Banta Singh as he entered the lift of a high rise bulding. When the lift reached its destination, the liftman opened its gates and said, 'The 10th floor, beta.' 'Why did you call me beta?' demanded Banta Singh. D'I am not your son.' I called you beta because I brought you up,' replied the liftman.
Title: Re: Jokes (Sardarji)
Post by: Xteam on June 08, 2007, 06:30:14 AM
nice collection r1p bro keep it up
Title: Re: Jokes (Sardarji)
Post by: r1p2b6 on June 08, 2007, 10:37:16 AM
nice collection r1p bro keep it up
Thank you
Title: Re: Jokes (Sardarji)
Post by: r1p2b6 on June 13, 2007, 01:41:29 PM
Sardarji went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain.
"I would like to buy this small TV," he told the salesman.
"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," he replied.
He hurried home removed his turban and changed his hair style,
and returnedto tell the salesman"I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," Salesman replied.
"Damn, he recognised me," he thought.
He went for a complete disguise this time, haircut,
new hair colour,new outfit, big sunglasses, waited a few days, saw the salesman again.
"I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," he replied.
Frustrated, he exclaimed, "How do you know I'm a Sardar?"
"Because that's a microwave," he replied.
Title: Re: Jokes (Sardarji)
Post by: r1p2b6 on June 13, 2007, 01:43:35 PM
Sardarji proposes to a woman.
She says yes if you bring me a pair of crocodile boots.
He sets off to Africa and disappears.
Finally a search is being made, they find him hunting crocodiles and watch him killing a huge one.
He walks over the reptile, checks its legs and angrily exclaims "71st and *again* barefoot!"
Title: Re: Jokes (Sardarji)
Post by: r1p2b6 on June 13, 2007, 01:47:00 PM
What do you do when a Sardar throws a hand grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back.
********************************************************

What do you do when a Sardar throws a pin at you?
Run like crazy....he's got a hand grenade in his mouth.
************************************************************
How do you make a Sardar laugh on Saturday?
Tell him a joke on Wednesday.
**************************************************************

What is the Sardar doing when he holds his hands tightly over his ears?
Trying to hold on to a thought.
***************************************************************

Why do Sardars work seven days a week?
So you don't have to re-train them on Monday.
******************************************************************

Why can't Sardars make ice cubes?
They always forget the recipe.
*********************************************************************

How did the Sardar try to kill the bird?
He threw it off a cliff.
*******************************************************************

What do you call 10 Sardars standing ear to ear?
A wind tunnel.
Title: Re: Jokes (Sardarji)
Post by: r1p2b6 on June 13, 2007, 01:49:27 PM
Santa Goes to heaven
Santa Singh was in the hospital, near death, so the family sent for his friend Banta. As Banta singh stood beside the bed, santa Singh's frail condition grew worse, and he motioned frantically for something to write on. Banta singh lovingly handed him a pen and piece of paper, and Santa used his last ounce of strength to scribble a note. Then he died. Banta singh thought it best not to look at the note just then, so he slipped it into his jacket pocket. Several days later, at the funeral, Banta singh was visting Santa's family. He realized that he was wearing the same jacket that he'd worn the day Santa died. "You know," he said, "Santa handed me a note just before he died. I haven't read it, but knowing Santa, I'm sure there's a word of inspiration there for us all." He unfolded the note and read aloud, "You're standing on my oxygen tube!"
Title: Re: Jokes (Sardarji)
Post by: r1p2b6 on June 13, 2007, 01:51:54 PM
Santa Singh was walking on the road and paused to read the graffiti on the wall. It read "Padne waala gadha."(one who reads it is an ass.) Santa Singh thought for an hour, erased it and wrote back,"Likhne waala gadha."(One who wrote it is an ass).
***************************************************************************************

Mrs. Banta Singh was in the habit of having long conversation on the telephone, sometimes going on over an hour. One day she hung up after 25 minutes."What is the matter today? asked her husband. "Today you had less than half an hour conversation on the phone." "I got a wrong number," replied Mrs. Banta Singh.
Title: Re: Jokes (Sardarji)
Post by: r1p2b6 on June 17, 2007, 01:04:14 PM
Banta Singh was in court charged with parking his car in a restricted area.
The judge asked him if he had anything to say in his defence.
"They should not put up such misleading notices,"said Banta Singh.
" It said , "FINE FOR PARKING HERE."
*****************************************************************

A haryanavi peasant came to the office of The Hindustan Times to place an advertisement announcing his father's death. "The rate is Rs. 360 per single col. cm," the clerk told him. "Main to lut jaoonga - I 'll be ruined," exclaimed the haryanavi. "My father was 182 cms tall."
Title: Re: Jokes (Sardarji)
Post by: r1p2b6 on June 17, 2007, 01:06:21 PM
The collector asked Banta Singh for his rail ticket.
Banta Singh searched his pockets but could not find it.
'Never mind,' reassured the collector,
' I will take your word that you bought your ticket.'
'That is very kind of you,' replied Banta Singh,
'but if I don't find it, I want to know where to get off.'
******************************************************

Santa Singh : 'Look Banta, what type of glasses they have made.
The top is closed. How can you fill lassi in it ?'
Banta Singh : 'Yes, that's funny.
And even if you make a hole at the top,
how will the lassi stay in the glass when the bottom is open?'
Title: Re: Jokes (Sardarji)
Post by: Xteam on June 19, 2007, 01:22:25 AM
hehehhahahha lolzzzzzzzzzz
Title: Re: Jokes (Sardarji)
Post by: r1p2b6 on June 24, 2007, 03:22:36 PM
Sardarji ( to doctor ) : Doctor, I have a problem.
Doctor : What's your problem?
Sardarji : I keep forgetting things.
Doctor : Since when do you have this problem?
Sardarji : What problem?
Title: Re: Jokes (Sardarji)
Post by: r1p2b6 on June 24, 2007, 03:26:37 PM
Letter
Letter from mother to son Santa Singh. Pyare Puttar, Vahe Guru.
I am writing this letter slow, because I know you can't read fast.
We do not live where we did when you left home.
Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen 20 miles from your home, so we moved.
I wont be able to send you the address as the last Sardar
who stayed here took the numbers with them for their next house,
so they would not have to change their address.
This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine.
I am not sure it works too well. Last week I put 3 shirts,
pulled the chain and haven't seen them since then.
The weather here isn't too bad. It rained only twice last week.
The first time it rained 3 days, and the second time for 4 days.
The coat you wanted me to send you,
your aunt said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with all the buttons,
so we cut them off and put them in the pocket.
We got another bill from the funeral home.
It said if we don't make the last payment on grandma's funeral,
he will come up again. Your father has another job.
He has 500 men under him. He is cutting grass at the cemetery .
Your sister had a baby this morning.
I haven't found out whether it's a girl or a boy, so I don't know whether you are an Aunt or Uncle.
Your uncle Jatinder fell in a whisky vat. Some men tried pulling him out,
but he fought them off and drowned.
We cremated him and he burned for three days.
There is not much more news this time. Nothing much has happened.
Love Mom. P.S. I was going to send you some money but the envelope was already sealed.
Title: Re: Jokes (Sardarji)
Post by: r1p2b6 on June 24, 2007, 03:29:37 PM
A Sardar took an answering machine home and fixed it home somewhere in Rajasthan,
but two days later disconnected it because he was getting complaints like
"Saala phone utha ke bolta hai ghar pe nahin hai"
( "he picks up the receiver and then says he is not at home" )
*************************************************************************


This sardarji goes to the see Jurassic Park and when the Dinosaurs start approaching
he is cowering in his seat when his friend asks him "kyon sardarji, kya baat hai?
Dar kyon lag raha hai cinema hi to hai"
Sardarji replies "Aadmi hoon aur akkal hai, pata hai ki cinema hai
lekin voh to janwar hai, usko kya pata "
*******************************************************************************

Sardarji is trying to commit suicide on the railway tracks and
he takes along some wine and chicken with him.
Somebody stops him and asks "kyon bhai, ye sab kyon leke baithe ho?"
Sardarji replies "Saali train late aati hai kahin bhook se na marjaun"
Title: Re: Jokes (Sardarji)
Post by: r1p2b6 on June 24, 2007, 03:31:07 PM
The Chutney Joke
Banta: Kee Gal hai Sante. Kalle Kalle samosey kha reyan
Santa : Nahin yaarr, Chutney De Naal.
Title: Re: Jokes (Sardarji)
Post by: r1p2b6 on June 24, 2007, 03:32:48 PM
UNIBROW'S
WHY DO PUNJABI'S HAVE CONNECTED EYE BROWS?
ANS: TO KEEP THE SAND OUT OF THEIR EYE'S!
Title: Re: Jokes (Sardarji)
Post by: r1p2b6 on June 24, 2007, 03:34:15 PM
Woman
Santa Singh and Banta singh are sitting in a bar sipping Black Label Johnny walker when Banta singh noticed a gorgeous blonde sitting by herself in a corner.
As he was getting up to talk to her. Bar Tender said "Hey don't worry about her,
She is lesbian! ". Banta singh "Lesbian or no lesbian, I get all of them"
Then leaping forward in a very sexy voice he said "Where exactly in Lesbia, you from?"
Title: Re: Jokes (Sardarji)
Post by: r1p2b6 on June 24, 2007, 03:36:39 PM
No formalities
Elizabeth Taylor once boarded a plane.
Everybody around greeted her.
Since the plane was crowded she had difficulty in finding a seat.
She saw our Sardar Balwinder Singh who was sitting next to a vacant seat.
She went up to him and introduced herself saying in her cool sexy voice,
"Hi, I am Elizabeth Taylor... Liz to you."
Balwinder was bewildered but immediately responded, "Hi I am Balwinder .. Balls to you."
Title: Re: Jokes (Sardarji)
Post by: r1p2b6 on June 24, 2007, 03:43:27 PM
Logic
Zailsingh decided to write the MBA exam. He could understand every thing except for the LOGIC part.
One day when he was reading, Rajiv came home.
Rajiv: Zailsinghji How is your MBA preparation?
Zail Singh: Every thing is fine, but I could not understand Logic.
Rajiv: Logic is very easy.
Zailsingh: Can you give me an example, so that I can understand.
Rajiv: OK. Do you have fish pot in your house?
Zail: YES.
Rajiv: Logically, there will be water in it.
Zail: YES.
Rajiv: Logically, there will be fish in it.
Zail: YES.Rajiv: Logically, someone will be feeding the fish.
Zail: YES.Rajiv: I take a guess that your wife will be feeding the fish.
Zail: YES.
Rajiv: so, logically, you are married.
Zail: YES.
Rajiv: So, that means U are a heterosexual.
Zailsingh was very glad and he understood logic.
Next day he sees Butasingh and he was also preparing for MBA.
Zail: How is your MBA preparation?
Buta: Everything is fine except for the logic.
Zail: Oh, logic is easy.
Buta: Please, give me an example.
Zail: Do you have a fish pot in your house?
Buta: NO, I don't.
Zail: Saala HOMO!!!
Title: Re: Jokes (Sardarji)
Post by: r1p2b6 on June 24, 2007, 03:50:47 PM
Kaun Banega Karodpati
 
Our sardarji goes to 'Kaun Banega Karodpati' show.
Amitabh Bachchan asks him, "Sardarji aap kiske saath yahan aaye hai?"
Sardar : " Pitaaji ke saath".
Amitabh : "Aap ke pitaaji ka shubhnaam?"
Sardar : "Hmm..OK."
Amitabh : "Aap ne abhi bataya nahi ki Aap ke pitaji ka kyanaam hai ?"
Sardar : "Hmm... OK."
Amitabh : "Are sardarji, main aapse aapke pitaji ka naam poochh rahahoon"
Sardar : "Pehle mujhe chaar options to do ! ! !"then
Amitabh : your options are A) Banta Singh, B) Santa Singh, C) Daljit Singh, D) Ajit Singh..
Think for that..Sardar gave answer spontaneously...
Sardar : B...B.....Santa Singh
Amitabh : good...very fast..think again
Sardar : yes...B..santa singh.
Amitabh : are you confident ...Still you have three life line...Take your own time.
Sardar starts thing for that....after one minute .
Sardar : I will go for public opinion
Amitabh : OK...Our friend has opted for public opinion..(to Audience) please give your opinion...Audience has given their reply....
A) Banta Singh 25%
B) Santa Singh 25%
C) Daljit Singh 25%
D) Ajit Singh 25%
Amitabh : ohhh.. very tough...really it is very tough to take decision....... even people are not able give correct answer... but you can give your own answer....think for that.. sardar is now seems to entered in big loop...keep on thinking..
Amitabh : Still you have two more life line... why not try for that...
Sardar : I will go for 50:50 .
Amitabh : Ok...computer remove two wrong answers.
now two option are left..
A)Santa Singh B) Banta Singh
Amitabh : Now you have two option ... A) OR b) .....Think for that
Sadar is now confused...& .. He is not in position to take correct decision...
Amitabh : there are just 15 questions between you & one cr. ....
Amitabh : still you have one life line left for you... would you like to use that.
Sardar : Yes
Amitabh : now you want you use your life line ...phone a friend...Whom do you want to ask this question?Sardar : I want to call my mother at my home
Amitabh : What is your mother name..
Sardar: Hmm...hmmm. Give me four options    
Title: Re: Jokes (Sardarji)
Post by: Xteam on June 25, 2007, 10:00:11 PM
ha..ha...ha..................
Title: Re: Jokes (Sardarji)
Post by: r1p2b6 on July 02, 2007, 12:21:50 PM
Delivered:
Sardar sent a SMS to his pregnant wife. Two seconds later a report came to his phone and he started dancing. The report said, "DELIVERED".
Title: Re: Jokes (Sardarji)
Post by: r1p2b6 on July 02, 2007, 12:25:00 PM
Smart Sardarji:
A Sardarji and an American are seated next to each other on a flight from Los Angeles to New York.
The American asks if he would like to play a fun game..
The Sardarji, tired, just wants to take a nap,
so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.
The American persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun.
He says, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer,
you pay me five dollars, and vice versa."Again, he declines and tries to get some sleep.
The American, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer,
you pay me $5,and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.
"This catches the Sardarji's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment,
agrees to the game.The American asks the first question:
"What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"
The Sardarji doesn't say a word, reaches into his wallet,
pulls out a $5.00 bill, and hands it to the American."Okay," says the American, "your turn".
He asks, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"
The American, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer & searches all his preferences........no answer.
He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the Internet and the Library of Congress... no answer.Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers but to no avail.
After an hour, he wakes the Sardarji and hands him $500.
The Sardarji thanks him and turns back to get some more sleep.
The American, who is more than a little miffed, stirs the Sardarji and asks, "Well, what's the answer?"Without a word, the Sardarji reaches into his purse,
hands the american $5,and goes back to sleep.
Title: Re: Jokes (Sardarji)
Post by: r1p2b6 on July 02, 2007, 12:27:12 PM
Sardarji Jokes:
A sardarji comes up to the Pakistan border on his bike.
He's got two large bags over his shoulders.
The guard Iqbal stops him and says, 'What's in the bags?'
'Sand,' answered the Sardarji.Iqbal says, 'We'll just see about that.
Get off the bike.'Iqbal's guard takes the bags and rips them apart, he empties them out and finds nothing in them but sand. He detains the sardarji all night and has the sand analyzed,
only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags.
Iqbal releases the sardaji, puts the sand into new bags, hefts them onto the sardarji's shoulders,
and lets him cross the border.A week later, the same thing happens.
Iqbal asks, 'What have you got?' 'Sand,' says the Sardarji.
Iqbal does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand.
He gives the sand back to the Sardar, and crosses the border on his bike.
This sequence of events is repeated every day for three years.
Finally, the Sardarji doesn't show up one day and the guard, Iqbal, meets him in a 'Dhaba' in Islamabad.'Hey, Buddy,' says Iqbal, 'I know you are smuggling something.
It's driving me crazy. It's all I think about...I can't sleep.
Just between you and me, what are you smuggling?'The Sardaji, sips his Lassi and says, 'Bikes'
Title: Re: Jokes (Sardarji)
Post by: r1p2b6 on July 02, 2007, 12:29:26 PM
Race to the Sun:
Two Sardarjis, both student of I.I.T, Kanpur, were talking about the American Astronauts.
One said to the other, "What's the big deal about going to the moon-anybody can go to the moon.
We are sardars we will go direct to the sun."
"But if we get within 13 million miles from the sun, we'll melt."
And the first answered,
"So what, we'll go at night."
Title: Re: Jokes (Sardarji)
Post by: r1p2b6 on July 03, 2007, 04:20:27 PM
Two horses
Santa and Banta had just bought two horses.
Now the problem was that they could not differenciate between the two horses.
So,one day Santa cuts the left ear of his horse, so that it is easy to know that it is his horse.
While doing so,an enemy of Santa looks at him.
This enemy also cuts the left ear of banta.
By doing so santa and banta come in confusion to differenciate.
So, next thing santa keeps on cutting his horse's right ear ,
then his tail , then makes him blind and so on .
And the enemy also kept on doing so with banta's horse.
At last Santa's horse had no legs left and banta's horse was with one leg only.
The enemy also went and cut banta's horse one leg.
So, in the morning it was the same sitaution,
How to diffrenciate thier horses.
So, after thinking and putting lots of effort to thier mind -
Santa said - O.K You keep the black one and i will keep the white .
Title: Re: Jokes (Sardarji)
Post by: Xteam on July 09, 2007, 08:40:22 PM
nice collection r1p bro keep it up
Title: Re: Jokes (Sardarji)
Post by: r1p2b6 on July 10, 2007, 08:11:10 AM
Thanks Xteam
Title: Re: Jokes (Sardarji)
Post by: xnepali on July 15, 2007, 06:53:20 AM
great collection indeed!!
Title: Re: Jokes (Sardarji)
Post by: r1p2b6 on July 15, 2007, 09:56:27 AM

Thanks Nep bro
Title: Re: Sardar ji joke series
Post by: uxwall on July 02, 2018, 08:12:01 AM
but i dont understand
Title: Re: Sardar ji joke series
Post by: coolboy on July 02, 2018, 02:59:25 PM
Jpt