Nepali Community Forum

xNepali Forum => Fun Stuffs / Literature => Topic started by: xnepali on January 24, 2007, 10:36:49 PM

Title: 101 reasons why 'I Love You'
Post by: xnepali on January 24, 2007, 10:36:49 PM
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1. Look at your zipper. See the initials YKK? It stands for Yoshida Kogyo Kabushibibaisha, the world's largest zipper manufacturer.
2. A raisin dropped in a glass of freshchampagne will bounce up and down continuously from the bottom of the glass to the top.
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3. A duck's quack doesn't echo. No one knows why.
4. 40 percent of McDonald's profits come from the sales of Happy Meals.
5. 315 entries in Webster's 1996 Dictionary were misspelled.
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6. On the average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents daily.
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7. Chocolate kills dogs! True, chocolate affects a dog's heart and nervous system. A few ounces is enough to kill a small sized dog.
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8. Most lipstick contains fish scales.
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9. Ketchup was sold in the 1830's as a medicine.
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10. Leonardo da Vinci could write with one hand and draw with the other at the same time.11. Because metal was scarce, the Oscars given out during World War II were made of wood.
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12. There are no clocks in Las Vegas g@mbling casin0s.
13. Leonardo da Vinci invented scissors. Also, it took him 10 years to paint Mona Lisa's lips.
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14. Bruce Lee was so fast that they actually had to slow a film down so you could see his moves. That's the opposite of the norm.
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15. The original name for the butterfly was "flutterby"!
16. By raising your legs slowly and lying on your back, you can't sink in quicksand.
17. Mosquito repellents don't repel. They hide you. The spray blocks the mosquito's sensors so they don't know you're there.
18. Dentists recommend that a toothbrush be kept at least six feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush.
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19. The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum.
20. The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer.
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21. Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike annually than the entire Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined.
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22. Marilyn Monroe had six toes on one foot.
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23. Adolf Hitler's mother seriously considered having an abortion but was talked out of it by her doctor.
24. The three most valuable brand names on earth: Marlboro, Coca-Cola, and Budweiser, in that order.
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25. "Stewardesses" is the longest word that can be typed with only the left hand.
26. To escape the grip of a crocodile's jaws, prick your fingers into its eyeballs. It will let you go instantly.
27. A mathematical wonder: 111,111,111 multiplied by 111,111,111 gives the result 12, 345, 678, 987, 654, 321.
28. The most common name in the world is Mohammed.
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29. The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.
30. The "pound" (#) key on your keyboard is called an octothorp.
31. The only domestic animal not mentioned in the Bible is the cat.
32. Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.
33. The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.
34. "Dreamt" is the only word in the English language that ends in "mt".
35. It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.
36. In Chinese, the KFC slogan "finger lickin' good" comes out as "eat your fingers off".
37. A cockroach can live for 10 days without a head.
39. We shed 40 pounds of skin a lifetime.
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40. Yo-Yos were once used as weapons in the Philippines.
41. Coca-Cola can be used as car oil.
42. Mexico City sinks abut 10 inches a year.
43. Brains are more active sleeping than watching TV.
44. Blue is the favorite color of 80 percent of Americans.
45. When a person shakes their head from side to side, he is saying "yes" in Sri Lanka.
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46. There are more chickens than people in the world.

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47. It's against the law in Iceland to have a dog.

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48. The thumbnail grows the slowest, and the middle nail grows the fastest.
49. The only word in the English Language with all vowels in reverse order is "s ub c ont in ent al".

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50. There are more telephones than people in Washington, D.C.
Title: Lessons From Life
Post by: xnepali on February 24, 2007, 03:00:37 AM
Everybody Does It
ACCOUNTANTS are good with figures.
ACTORS do it on cue.
ADVERTISERS use the "new, improved" method.
AMBULANCE DRIVERS come quicker.
ANSI does it in the standard way.
ARCHEOLOGISTS like it old.
ARCHITECTS have great plans.
ARTISTS are exhibitionists.
ASSEMBLY LINE WORKERS do it over and over.
ASTRONOMERS do it with Uranus.
ATTORNEYS make better motions.
AUDITORS like to examine figures.
BABYSITTERS charge by the hour.
BAILIFFS always come to order.
BAKERS knead it daily.
BAND MEMBERS play all night.
BANKERS do it with interest (penalty for early withdrawal!)
BARBERS do it with shear pleasure.
BARTENDERS do it on the rocks.
BASEBALL PLAYERS make it to first base.
BASKETBALL PLAYERS score more often.
BEEKEEPERS like to eat their honey.
BEER BREWERS do it with more hops.
BEER DRINKERS get more head.
BICYCLISTS do it with 10 speeds.
BOOKKEEPERS do it with double entry
BOSSES delegate the task to others.
BOWLERS have bigger balls.
BRICKLAYERS lay all day.
BRIDGE PLAYERS try to get a rubber.
BUS DRIVERS come early and pull out on time.
BUTCHERS have better meat.
CAMPERS do it in a tent.
CARPENTERS hammer it harder.
CARPET LAYERS do it on the floor.
CHEERLEADERS do it with more enthusiasm.
CHEMISTS like to experiment.
CHESSPLAYERS check their mates.
CHIROPRACTORS do it by manipulation.
CLOCK MAKERS do it mechanically.
CLOWNS do it for laughs.
COACHES whistle while they work.
COBOL PROGRAMMERS do it with bugs.
COCKTAIL WAITRESSES serve highballs.
COMPUTER GAME PLAYERS just can't stop.
COMPUTER OPERATORS get the most out of their software.
CONSTRUCTION WORKERS lay a better foundation.
CONSULTANTS tell other how to do it.
COPS have bigger guns
COWBOYS handle anything horny.
COWGIRLS like to ride bareback.
CRANE OPERATORS have swinging balls.
CREDIT MANAGERS always collect.
DANCERS do it in leaps and bounds.
DEADHEADS do it with Jerry.
DEER HUNTERS will do anything for a buck.
DENTAL HYGENISTS do it till it hurts.
DENTISTS do it in your mouth.
DETECTIVES do it under cover.
DIRECT MAILERS get it in the sack.
DIVERS do it deeper.
DOCTORS do it with patience.
DRUGGISTS fill your prescription.
DRUMMERS do it in 4/4 time.
DRYWALLERS are better bangers.
ELECTRICIANS check your shorts.
ELECTRICIANS do it in their shorts.
EXECUTIVES have large staffs.
FARMERS spread it around.
FIREMEN are always in heat.
FISHERMEN are proud of their rods.
FOOTBALL PLAYERS are measured by the yard.
FOUR-WHEELERS eat more bush.
FURRIERS appreciate good beaver.
GARBAGEMEN come once a week.
GARDENERS have 50 foot hoses.
GAS STATION ATTENDANTS pump all day.
GOLFERS do it in 18 holes.
GYMNASTS mount and dismount well.


Well,,,,, what is your occupation ?
Title: Famous Last Words
Post by: xnepali on February 24, 2007, 03:01:26 AM
Famous Last Words
Winning doesn't matter much to me. I just like playing golf.
I respect your opinion, although it differs from mine considerably.
You don't need to bring the boat closer, I can jump from here.
It was driven by a little old lady to and from church.
We do not need to guarantee our product, it never fails.
With this camera, you can't make a serious mistake.
Practically everything in the car is under warranty.
I trust any elected official to do their job properly.
One application of this wax should last at least a year, if not longer.
There really are no exclusions in this policy, it covers everything.
It will work better if you remove the safety device.
Read my lips. No new taxes.
It will be shipped tomorrow and you will receive it within five days.
The check for that item is in the mail.
This offer is for a limited time only, so you must hurry.
It is a wonderful home in a crime free neighborhood at a ridiculous price.
If you have any problem with it, just let us know.
This IRS payment will just have to wait...
There is no way anything could go wrong with it, it has been checked.
It comes with an unconditional guarantee.
We have never had any complaints about this product in the history of it.
This is a maintenance free product and requires no work to keep it going.
This mechanism has always been trouble free.
Product requires minimal assembly which can be done with a screwdriver.
Who cares who wins, it's the way you play the game that counts.
When the current stock is sold, it will not be reordered, so buy it now.
This product is not available in any store at any price.
The weather forecast says sunshine, so leave the boots and rainwear home.
There is a minimal service charge for each call.
The superintendent will be there shortly to correct the problem.
The home office is in Kyoto, but you will never need to call them there.
Because of high demand, allow three to six months for delivery.
Our service truck is on the way to your home at this very time.
We have never even heard of any malfunction of this item before.
Our simple assembly instructions make it almost impossible to fail.
It is absolutely water proof and has never been known to leak.
In the event of minor difficulty, consult the manual for detailed help.
At this price, you can't afford not to buy it.
In this instance, reconditioned means as good as new.
A friendly consultant is available night or day, as close as your phone.
We are sure that the sub-assembly will be in with the next shipment.
Our generous cash refund policy does not apply to that item.
Title: Insurance Responses
Post by: xnepali on February 24, 2007, 03:01:45 AM
Insurance Responses
Well, you'd be angry too if you had a tree put a move on you as fast as that one did on me, which is why the car is totally ruined.

The reason I had this difficulty is that the tree wasn't where it would have been if I had selected the right driveway, but since I did not, there it was where it shouldn't be, and this is why I hit it.

I tried to avoid hitting him, but he kept coming toward me and asking for it and I finally felt that I really should oblige him.  It demolished his car, but it didn't even scratch my bumper.

The other car appeared, as out of nowhere, although I am sure it was some- where before it appeared, and once it did, hitting it was the only thing left for me to do, so I did it, and frankly, I rather enjoyed it.

We are going to have peace, and by golly, if necessary, I'll beat the stuffings out of anyone who says we are not going to have peace.  Sometimes, when you want something bad enough, you just have to fight for it - that's the way it is with peace.

Try as hard as I did, no matter what move I made, that telephone pole matched me and eventually it hit me.  I'd have to say that the pole was at fault, it certainly wasn't me.

The stop sign which caused this action appeared there recently and was new to me.  It cause me great alarm and when I am watching its pole, I note the sign is too low for the car, which is why it destroy the windshield.  When I note this, it excite me, and that is when wall came into line of drive and cause me to ruin radiator, but not until I got the truck of the man who was putting up those stop signs. If there were more space on this form I tell you about baby carriage, but this is enough information for you for one day.

I know of no driving manual which suggests that passengers depart from the cabin of the car when going around the corner at such speeds.  When this happened, I took evasive action, and that is when I wiped out those other five cars, the bus and the branch bank office.  One of the passengers who got out of the other car still managed to come through my windshield, at considerable additional cost, may I add.

I honestly do not believe that anyone was really responsible for this accident, but if blame must be placed, it surely belongs, all 110% of it, on the other driver.

Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I didn't have.

The other car collided with mine without even giving warning of its intentions.

I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.

A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.

A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

The guy was all over the road.  I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.

I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and headed for the embankment.

As I approached the intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no sign had ever appeared before.  I was unable to stop in time to avoid theaccident.

To avoid hitting the car in front of me, I struck the pedestrian.

In my attempt to hit a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.

My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.

I told the police that I was not injured, but upon removing my hat, I found that I had a fractured skull.

The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run, so I ran over him.

The indirect cause of this accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.

An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my vehicle and vanished.

I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel.

I saw a sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off of the hood of my car.

I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.

I was thrown from my car as it left the road.  I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.

The telephone pole was approaching; I was attempting to swerve out of the way when it struck my front end.

I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.
Title: The Rules Of Love
Post by: xnepali on February 24, 2007, 03:02:06 AM
The Rules Of Love
The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave with no hard feelings.
Nothing improves with age.
No matter how many times you've had it, take it, because it'll never be quite the same again.
Sex has no calories.
Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.
There is no remedy for sex but more sex.
Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got.
No sex with anyone in the same office.
Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you'll get or how long it'll last.
A man in the house is worth two in the street.
If you get them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.
Virginity can be cured.
When a man's wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening to him.
Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.
Qualities that attract a woman to a man are the same ones she can't stand years later.
Sex is dirty only if it's done right.
It is always the wrong time of month.
The best way to hold a man is in your arms.
When the lights are out, all women are beautiful.
Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won't either.
Sow your wild oats on Saturday night -- Then on Sunday pray for crop failure.
The younger the better.
The game of love is never called off on account of darkness.
It wasn't the apple on the tree but the pair on the ground that caused trouble in Eden.
Sex discriminates against the shy and the ugly.
Before you find your handsome prince, you've got to kiss a lot of frogs.
Love your neighbor, but don't get caught.
Love is a hole in the heart.
Love is a matter of chemistry, sex is a matter of physics.
Do it only with the best.
Sex is a 3-letter word which needs old-fashioned 4-letter words to convey its meaning.
One good turn gets most of the blankets.
You cannot produce a baby in one month by impregnating nine women.
Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
Thou shalt not commit adultery.....unless in the mood.
Never lie down with a woman who's got more troubles than you.
Abstain from wine, women, and song; mostly song.
Never argue with a women when she's tired -- or rested.
A woman never forgets the men she could have had, a man, the women he couldn't.
What matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick.
It is better to be looked over than overlooked.
Never say no.
A man can be happy with any woman as long as he doesn't love her.
Folks playing leapfrog must complete all jumps.
Beauty is skin deep; ugly goes right to the bone.
Never stand between a fire hydrant and a dog.
A man is only a man, but a good bicycle is a ride.
Love comes in spurts.
The world does not revolve on an axis.
Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation; the other eight are unimportant.
Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.
Don't do it if you can't keep it up.
There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when they fall in love.
Never go to bed mad, stay up and fight.
Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
"This won't hurt, I promise."
Title: 25 signs that you have grown up
Post by: xnepali on March 27, 2007, 10:04:44 AM
1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.

2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.

3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.

4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.

5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator.

6. You watch the Weather Channel.

7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of "hook up" and "break up".

8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.

9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up".

10. You're the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next door won't turn down the stereo.

11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.

12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.

13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.

14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers.

15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.

16. You take naps.

17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.

18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.

19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.

20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good shit".

21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.

22. "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going to drink that much again".

23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.

24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.

25. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them instead of asking, "Oh shit, what the hell happened?"

 

 

Bonus:

26: You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't apply to you and can't find one to save your sorry old ass. Then you forward it to a bunch of old friends 'cause you know they'll enjoy it too.


credits: anon-146472
Title: 40 reasons not to believe official 9/11 story
Post by: xnepali on March 27, 2007, 10:09:17 AM
here is the story
Title: Re: 50 interesting facts
Post by: gigolo on April 08, 2007, 11:58:36 AM
nice one
Title: Re: 50 interesting facts
Post by: xnepali on April 20, 2007, 01:24:22 AM
nice one

Thanks gigolo
Title: Lessons From Life
Post by: xnepali on August 13, 2007, 10:14:43 PM
25 Good Reasons Why Beer is Better Than Women

   1. You can enjoy a beer all month long.
   2. Beer stains wash out.
   3. You don't have to wine and dine beer.
   4. Your beer will always wait patiently for you in the car while you play football.
   5. When your beer goes flat, you toss it out.
   6. Beer is never late.
   7. A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer.
   8. Hangovers go away.
   9. Beer labels come off without a fight.
  10. When you go to a bar, you know you can always pick up a beer.
  11. Beer never has a headache.
  12. You don't have to drive a beer home in the morning.
  13. A beer won't get upset if you come home with another beer.
  14. If you pour a beer right, you'll always get good head.
  15. A beer always goes down easy.
  16. You can have more than one beer in a night and not feel guilty.
  17. You can share a beer with your friends.
  18. You always know you're the first one to pop a beer.
  19. Beer is always wet.
  20. Beer doesn't demand equality.
  21. You can have a beer in public.
  22. A beer doesn't care when you come.
  23. A frigid beer is a good beer.
  24. You don't have to wash a beer before it tastes good.
  25. If you change beers you don't have to pay alimony.
Title: 20 ways to tell a man that his zip is open
Post by: nish on February 18, 2009, 09:24:18 PM
20. The cucumber has left the salad.

19. I can see the gun of Navarone.

18. Someone tore down the wall, and your Pink Floyd is hanging out.

17. You've got Windows on your laptop.

16. Sailor Ned's trying to take a little shore leave.

15. Your soldier ain't so unknown now.

14. Quasimodo needs to go back in the tower and tend to his bells.

13. You need to bring your tray table to the upright and locked position.

12. Paging Mr. Johnson... Paging Mr. Johnson...

11. Your pod bay door is open, Hal.

10. Elvis Junior has LEFT the building!

9. Mini Me is making a break for the escape pod.

8. Ensign Hanes is reporting a hull breach on the lower deck, Sir!

7. The Buick is not all the way in the garage.

6. Dr. Kimble has escaped!

5. You've got your fly set for "Monica" instead of Hillary."

4. Our next guest is someone who needs no introduction...

3. You've got a security breach at Los Pantalones.

2. I'm talking about Shaft, can you dig it?

1. Men are From Mars, I Can See Your Penis ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Lessons From Life
Post by: tundikhel on October 28, 2009, 09:14:42 AM
HAZARDOUS MATERIALS INFORMATION SYSTEM
MATERIAL SAFETY DATA SHEET
WOMEN: A Chemical Analysis

ELEMENT: Woman
SYMBOL: Wo
DISCOVERER: Adam
ATOMIC MASS: Accepted as 118 lbs., but known to vary from 110 to 550 lbs.
OCCURRENCE: Copious quantities throughout the world

PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:

   1. Surface usually covered with a thin film of makeup.
   2. Boils at nothing, freezes without reason.
   3. Melts if given special treatment.
   4. Bitter if incorrectly used.
   5. Found in various states ranging from virgin metal to common ore.
   6. Yields to pressure applied to correct points.

CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:

   1. Has a great affinity for gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones.
   2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
   3. May explode spontaneously without prior warning, and for no known reason.
   4. Insoluble in liquids, but activity greatly increased by saturation in alcohol.
   5. Most powerful money-reducing agent known to man.

COMMON USES:

   1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
   2. Can be a great aid to relaxation.
   3. Very effective cleaning agent.

TESTS:

   1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in natural state.
   2. Turns green when placed beside a better specimen.

HAZARDS:

   1. Highly dangerous except in experienced hands.
   2. Illegal to possess more than one, although several can be maintained at different locations as long as specimens do not come into direct contact with each other.
Title: Re: Women Defined !!
Post by: tundikhel on October 28, 2009, 11:02:50 AM
GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN
Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa; half discovered, half wild,
naturally beautiful with fertile soil.

Between 23 and 30, a woman is like America; well developed and open to
trade, especially for someone with cash.

Between 31 and 35, a woman is like India; very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.

Between 36 and 40, a woman is like France; gently aging but still warm, and a desirable place to visit.

Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain; with a glorious and all conquering past.

Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Yugoslavia; lost the war and haunted by past mistakes.

Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Russia; very wide, and borders are now un-patrolled.

After 70, she becomes Tibet. Wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages.... only those with an adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge visit there.

GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN
Between 1 and 70, a man is like Iran - ruled by a dick
Title: Re: Women Defined !!
Post by: tundikhel on October 28, 2009, 11:05:44 AM
101 Things Not To Say During Sex


1. But everybody looks funny naked!

2. You woke me up for that?

3. Did I mention the video camera?

4. Do you smell something burning?

5. (in a janitor's closet) And they say romance is dead...

6. Try breathing through your nose

7. A little rug burn ever hurt anyone!

8. Is that a Medic-Alert Pendant?

9. Sweetheart, did you lock the back door?

10. But whipped cream makes me break out

11. Person 1: This is your first time... right?
      Person 2: Yeah... today

12. (in the No Tell Motel) Hurry up! This room rents by the Hour!

13. Can you please pass me the remote control?

14. Do you accept Visa?

15. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

16. On second thought, let's turn off the lights.

17. And to think- I was really trying to pick up your friend!

18. So much for mouth-to-mouth.

19. (using body paint) Try not to leave any stains, okay?

20. Hope you're as good looking when I'm sober...

21. (holding a banana) It's just a little trick I learned at the zoo!

22. Do you get any premium movie channels?

23. Try not to smear my make-up, will ya!

24. (preparing to use peanut butter sexually) But I just steam-cleaned this couch!

25. Got any penicillin?

26. But I just brushed my teeth...

27. Smile, you're on Candid Camera!

28. I thought you had the keys to the handcuffs!

29. I want a baby!

30. So much for the fulfillment of sexual fantasies!

31. (in a menage a trois) Why am I doing all the work?

32. Maybe we should call Dr. Ruth...

33. Did you know the ceiling needs painting?

34. I think you have it on backwards

35. When is this supposed to feel good?

36. Put that blender back in the kitchen where it belongs!

37. You're good enough to do this for a living!

38. Is that blood on the headboard?

39. Did I remember to take my pill?

40. Are you sure I don't know you from somewhere?

41. I wish we got the Playboy channel...

42. That leak better be from the waterbed!

43. I told you it wouldn't work without batteries!

44. But my cat always sleeps on that pillow

45. Did I tell you my Aunt Martha died in this bed?

46. If you quit smoking you might have more endurance...

47. No, really... I do this part better myself!

48. It's nice being in bed with a woman I don't have to inflate!

49. This would be more fun with a few more people..

50. You're almost as good as my ex!

51. Do you know the definition of statutory rape?

52. Is that you I smell or is it your mattress stuffed with rotten potatoes?

53. You look younger than you feel

54. Perhaps you're just out of practice

55. You sweat more than a galloping stallion!

56. They're not cracker crumbs, it's just a rash

57. Now I know why he/she dumped you...

58. Does your husband own a sawed-off shotgun?

59. You give me reason to conclude that foreplay is overrated

60. What tampon?

61. Have you ever considered liposuction?

62. And to think, I didn't even have to buy you dinner!

63. What are you planning to make for breakfast?

64. I have a confession...

65. I was so horny tonight I would have taken a duck home!

66. Are those real or am I just behind the times?

67. Were you by any chance repressed as a child?

68. Is that a hanging sculpture?

69. You'll stil vote for me, won't you?

70. Did I mention my transsexual operation?

71. I really hate women who actually think sex means something!

72. Did you come yet, dear?

73. I'll tell you who I'm fanatasizing about if you tell me who you're fantasizing about...

74. A good plastic surgeon can take care of that in no time!

75. Does this count as a date?

76. Oprah Winfrey had a show about men like you!

77. Hic! I need another beer for this please

78. I think biting is romantic- don't you?

79. You can cook, too right?

80. When would you like to meet my parents?

81. Man: Maybe it would help if I thought about someone I really like...
Woman: Yourself?

82. Have you seen "Fatal Attraction"?

83. Sorry about the name tags, I'm not very good with names

84. Don't mind me.. I always file my nails in bed

85. (in a phone booth) Do you mind if I make a few phone calls?

86. I hope I didn't forget to turn the gas oven off. Do you have a light?

87. Don't worry, my dog's really friendly for a Doberman.

88. Sorry but I don't do toes!

89. You could at least ACT like you're enjoying it!

90. Petroleum jelly or no petroleum jelly, I said NO!

91. Keep it down, my mother is a light sleeper...

92. I'll bet you didn't know I work for "The Enquirer"

93. So that's why they call you MR. Flash!

94. My old girlfriend used to do it a LOT longer!

95. Is this a sin too?

96. I've slept with more women than Wilt Chamberlain!

97. Hey, when is it going to be my friend's turn?

98. Long kisses clog my sinuses...

99. Please understand that I'm only doing this for a raise...

100. How long do you plan to be "almost there"?

101. You mean you're NOT my blind date?

Got it in email. If you are the author will gladly add your name here!!
Title: eleven rules - you will never learn in school
Post by: tundikhel on October 28, 2009, 11:06:52 AM
RULE 1
    Life is not fair - get used to it.

     
RULE 2
    The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

     
RULE 3
    You will NOT make 40 thousand dollars a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice president with car phone, until you earn both.

     
RULE 4
    If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss. He doesn't have tenure.

     
RULE 5
    Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping they called it Opportunity.

     
RULE 6
    If you mess up,it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

     
RULE 7
    Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you are. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

     
RULE 8
    Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life has not. In some schools they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as many times as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

     
RULE 9
    Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you find yourself. Do that on your own time.

     
RULE 10
    Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

     
RULE 11
    Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.
     

Bill Gates spoke before a group of high school students and gave them his eleven rules of life. The rules are taken from the book "Dumbing Down our Kids" by educator Charles Sykes and got it from this link.
Title: Re: Women Defined !!
Post by: tundikhel on October 28, 2009, 11:13:33 AM



No hard feeling ladies. But I think these are funny!!


What do you think? Would love to see what ladies think about them. :))



(http://www.flixya.com/content_photos/files/xnepali16587.jpg)

(http://www.flixya.com/content_photos/files/xnepali16586.jpg)

(http://www.flixya.com/content_photos/files/xnepali16585.jpg)

(http://www.flixya.com/content_photos/files/xnepali16584.jpg)

(http://www.flixya.com/content_photos/files/xnepali16583.jpg)

(http://www.flixya.com/content_photos/files/xnepali16582.jpg)

(http://www.flixya.com/content_photos/files/xnepali16581.jpg)

(http://www.flixya.com/content_photos/files/xnepali16580.jpg)

(http://www.flixya.com/content_photos/files/xnepali16579.jpg)

(http://www.flixya.com/content_photos/files/xnepali16578.jpg)
Title: Re: eleven rules - you will never learn in school
Post by: tundikhel on October 28, 2009, 11:15:58 AM
My "10 things to do before i die" List:

1. Fall in Love/Get married & make babies(must be a great feelin'....)

2. Visit the American country-side (I just love the smell of wet-mud out there)

3. Get involved in the "Big Brother" pragramme (not talking about the shitty reality show, but a social programme where you actually get privileges & rights to adopt an orphan and take him out once a week.)

4. SkyDiving (heellll yeaahhhh!!!!)

5. Sucker-Punch a stranger. (I dont know why? but the thought of which is very fascinating, besides I think I am sadistic enough to include it on the list anyway)

6. Buy my mom a house. (she will like that a lot)

7. Earn some money before I buy my mom a house otherwise i'll be broke (don't know y i didn't put that on the top?, but then I guess there are other important things in life for me)

8. Earn loads of respect

9. Write a novel (ya, for that I got one hell of an idea, and i think its gonna be a best-seller one day but I ain't tellin' anyone, anything 'bout it, just yet. So wait for it to realease)

10. Die before I cannot even take a piss in the toilet (Stupid, but I guess I'll take it since I don't wanna rot in my death bed with no body to look after me)

by: Anon
Title: Re: eleven rules - you will never learn in school
Post by: tundikhel on October 28, 2009, 11:17:28 AM

I got this photo in email long time back. It is very heart touching to see the reaction of the bird over another dead bird!


Don't you feel sad and want to scream your heart out to the hunter who killed it's lover (most probably)?
(http://www.flixya.com/content_photos/files/xnepali11563.jpg)
Title: Lessons From Life
Post by: tundikhel on January 08, 2010, 10:45:40 AM
Lessons From Life

   1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
   2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
   3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
   4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch!
   5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
   6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
   7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
   8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
   9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
  10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
  11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
  12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
  13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
  14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
  15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
  16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
  17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
  18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
  19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
  20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
  21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special..
  22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
  23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
  24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
  25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
  26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'
  27. Always choose life.
  28. Forgive everyone everything.
  29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
  30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
  31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
  32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
  33. Believe in miracles.
  34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
  35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
  36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
  37. Your children get only one childhood.
  38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
  39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
  40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's,we'd grab ours back.
  41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
  42. The best is yet to come.
  43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
  44. Yield.
  45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift

Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio
Title: Re: Lessons From Life
Post by: AdamsonAfton on January 18, 2010, 01:03:57 PM
nice quotations.thanks for sharing
Title: Re: Lessons From Life
Post by: sibbalnoma on January 18, 2010, 06:50:22 PM
Thanks for sharing bro.. nice quotations.. keep it up...
Title: Re: Lessons From Life
Post by: era.parker on March 31, 2010, 04:43:38 PM
Nice quote really in these quote life truth of living. please read it.
Title: Re: Lessons From Life
Post by: maktub on April 03, 2010, 05:43:28 AM
nice quotations bro , these inspiring stuffs make life worthy
Title: 40 ways to melt a woman`s heart
Post by: tundikhel on June 20, 2010, 08:52:49 AM
41 ways to melt a woman`s heart
... Then you`re on your own

1. Ask her to dance.
2. On windy days, brush wayward strands of hair from her eyes and mouth.
3. When she's coming down the street, across the room, or up the stairs to meet you, walk towards her as soon as you see her.
4. Kiss her between her shoulder blades when she turns her back to you to go to sleep.
5. Put your arm around her when you introduce her to your friends and family.
6. Grasp her hand when a scantily dressed, beautiful woman walks by.
7. Call her when you're feeling sad.
8. Kiss her eyelids.
9. Ask to see a picture of her when she was a child.
10. Wash her from head to toe in the shower.
11. If she's crying on the phone, go over to her place. Immediately.
12. Stand her naked on a sturdy chair and **** between her legs.
13. Occasionally call her by her first and middle names.
14. Buy her your favorite rock album of all time on vinyl.
15. Order coffee for her, remembering exactly how she likes it.
16. Undress her and put her to bed when she falls asleep in the car.
17. Mention your upcoming anniversary before she does.
18. Send her something in the mail. Anything.
19. When she's feeling insecure, stare into her eyes and tell her there is no-one in the world who could be as right for you as she is.
20. Call her just before you get on the plane.
21. Pick her clothes up off the floor.
22. Try desperately to make her laugh when she's feeling down.
23. Take her to see your favorite sport live. Pay more attention to her than to the game.
24. Touch her arm when you leave the table to go to the bathroom. Touch her again when you come back.
25. Shave just before you see her. She'll notice.
26. Hug her when she gets jealous. Hug her hard.
27. Worship her breasts.
28. Give her jewelry.
29. Hand her two towels when she gets out of the shower. (The second one is for her hair.)
30. Ask her specific questions about her work.
31. Keep her favorite cereal on hand.
32. In the middle of a conversation, tell her you love her.
33. Send her very expensive flowers when you screw up.
34. Take her to a cabin with a fireplace. Build her a fire.
35. Moan her name when she goes down on you.
36. Read her a story when it's her turn to drive during a long road trip.
37. Offer to fix something at her place that you realize is broken.
38. Notice when she's wearing something new.
39. Make love to her standing up, against a wall.
40. If she's too stressed to want sex...
a. Run a bath for her.
b. Give her a full-body massage.
c. Ask if she wants to wrestle.
Title: Re: 20 Rules for Girls
Post by: mooney on July 09, 2010, 12:14:43 PM
NICE
Title: 101 reasons why 'I Love You'
Post by: tundikhel on January 12, 2012, 02:41:07 AM
1. I love the way we finish each other's sentences.
2. I love the way I know you'll never give up on me.
3. I love the fact that I wouldn't ever give up on you.
4. I love the way you look at me.
5. I love how beautiful your eyes are.
6. I love the way I can't imagine a day without you in my life.
7. I love the way if we were ever separated I wouldn't know how to go on.
8. I love the way we cuddle and watch sunsets together.
9. I love the way we sometimes stay up all night, then watch the sunrise together.
10. I love how I know you'll always be there when I need you to be.
11. I love the fact that I will always be there for you too.
12. I love how when I dream of my life partner, the only person I can see is you.
13. I love how complete I feel when I am with you.
14. I love how our bodies just fit together.
15. I love the way you make me laugh.
16. I love the way you laugh.
17. I love the way you won't compromise yourself when we are together.
18. I love the way you won't let me compromise myself.
19. I love your thoughtfulness.
20. I love your tenderness.
21. I love your ability to speak without saying a single word.
22. I love the way we glance at each other across the room and know what each other is thinking.
23. I love the way, how even though we may be miles apart I still feel like you're right here with me.
24. I love the way you surprise me with the perfect gifts that show you pay attention to me.
25. I love the way you'll watch a sporting game with me even though you may not be interested in it.
26. I love the way you treat my friends.
27. I love your love for the things that interest me.
28. I love the way you let me live my life freely without jealousy.
29. I love how you demand respect but are not controlling.
30. I love how I would do anything in this world to make you happy.
31. I love how you would do anything in this world to make me happy.
32. I love the way your voice sounds over the phone.
33. I love the way your voice sounds when you whisper sweet nothings in my ear.
34. I love the completeness and oneness I feel when we make love.
35. I love your sensuality.
36. I love how our romance feels like the perfect romance movie.
37. I love how you are my soul mate.
38. I love the way you handle troubled times.
39. I love the way you respect me.
40. I love the way you protect and defend me.
41. I love how you feel when we cuddle.
42. I love the softness of your lips against mine.
43. I love the softness of you lips against my body.
44. I love the feeling of your hair brushing against me when we make love.
45. I love laying in bed at night talking about nothing.
46. I love waking up to find we've been cuddling together all night.
47. I love the surprises you leave for me.
48. I love your intelligence.
49. I love your ingenuity.
50. I love your ability to make friends where ever we go.
51. I love your love for life.
52. I love your passion for your hobbies and interests.
53. I love how every time I look at you, you take my breath away.
54. I love how I thank God everyday for bringing someone as wonderful as you into my life.
55. I love the fact you gave me the gift of our children.
56. I love the special moments that we shared that will remain my fondest memories of you and I.
57. I love spending the holidays with the one person I love the most.
58. I love how my heart skips a beat whenever you walk into the room.
59. I love how you love me.
60. I love how I love you.
61. I love the ways you choose to show your affection for me.
62. I love the way you inspire me to be more than I am.
63. I love the way you spark my creativity and imagination.
64. I love the way you make me feel like anything is possible as long as I'm with you.
65. I love your sense of humor.
66. I love the way you make me feel like royalty.
67. I love the way you dress.
68. I love your understated elegance.
69. I love you just the way you are.
70. I love your spontaneity.
71. I love our life together.
72. I love how if I died right now I would be the happiest person alive knowing I found my one true love.
73. I love the fact that we will grow old together.
74. I love your way with words.
75. I love the way you look when your sleeping.
76. I love the way you think you look awful when you first wake up when it is actually then I find you the most beautiful.
77. I love your willingness to share everything and most especially your heart with me.
78. I love your strength of character.
79. I love taking showers together.
80. I love the way you leave me love notes to find whenever you're gone.
81. I love the way you treat me.
82. I love the way you take care of us.
83. I love your cooking.
84. I love the way you take the time to thank me for doing every day things.
85. I love the way you show your affection when we are around friends andor family.
86. I love the way you are not scared to show your affection when we are in public.
87. I love your confidence.
88. I love your ability to make me feel better when times are tough.
89. I love the way we make up after a fight.
90. I love how you treat our children.
91. I love the way you support me when I'm off track.
92. I love the way you take the time to show me how much you love me.
93. I love your beautiful hair.
94. I love your body.
95. I love your openness to try new things.
96. I love your ability to talk things through.
97. I love your courage to be you.
98. I love your greatness.
99. I love the fact that you want to be with me and only me.
100. I love how I am and feel when I am with you!
101. I love you for you!
Title: Re: 101 reasons why 'I Love You'
Post by: prateek on January 12, 2012, 10:51:09 AM
nice
Title: Re: 25 Good Reasons Why Beer is Better Than Women
Post by: tundikhel on May 17, 2012, 12:04:29 AM
(http://xnepali.net/i1/th/nep1337192336o.jpg) (http://xnepali.net/i1/viewer.php?id=nep1337192336o.jpg)
Title: Re: 25 Good Reasons Why Beer is Better Than Women
Post by: tundikhel on May 17, 2012, 12:05:37 AM
(http://xnepali.net/i1/th/luu1337192431e.jpg) (http://xnepali.net/i1/viewer.php?id=luu1337192431e.jpg)
Title: 101 reasons why I Love You
Post by: Indecente on July 04, 2015, 04:15:14 PM
So true  I love Geordie's wet nose and he does burp too  HAHAHA

Any more of these?