Topic: Sardar ji joke series

[Xteam]

GReat THanx for Sharing US... Thankyou Again HOt Bro And NEpdedu KEep POsting

[xnepali]

Sardarji is trying to commit suicide on the railway tracks and he takes along some wine and chicken with him. Somebody stops him and asks
"kyon bhai ye sab kyon leke baithe ho?"
Sardarji replies
"Saali train late aati hai kahin bhook se na marjaun"








A sardarji goes to the see Jurassic Park and when the Dinosaurs start
approaching he is cowering in his seat when his friend asks him
"kyon sardarji, kya baat hai? Dar kyon lag raha hai cinema hi to hai"
Sardarji replies "Aadmi hoon aur akkal hai, pata hai ki cinema hai lekin voh to janwar hai, usko kya pata







A Sardar took an answering machine home and fixed it home somewhere in Rajasthan, but two days later disconnected it because he was getting complaints like
"Saala phone utha ke bolta hai ghar pe nahin hai"





Sardarji calls Air India. "How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?"
Just a sec," says the rep.
Thank you." says the Sardarji and hangs up.

[Xteam]

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[Xteam]

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Applicant:...I'm the one you want . On my last job, every time anything went wrong they said was responsible.....

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[Xteam]

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses.
He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed.
The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services.
He gasps: "my friend is dead! What can i do?" The operator says: "calm down, i can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."

There is a silence, then a shot is heard.
Back on the phone, the guy says: "Ok, now what?"

[Xteam]

A Pakistani, Bangladeshi and a Sardar are in a bar one night having a beer.

The Pakistani drinks his beer and suddenly throws his glass in the air, pulls out a gun and shoots the glass to pieces.
He says "In Islamabad our glasses are so cheap that we don't need to drink from the same one twice."

The Bangladeshi [obviously impressed by this] drinks his beer, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his gun and shoots the glass to pieces.
He says "In Dhaka we have so much sand to make the glasses that we don't need to drink out of the same glass twice either."

The Sardar , cool as a cucumber, picks up his beer and drinks it, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his gun and shoots the Pakistani and Bangladeshi.
He says "In Delhi we have so many Pakis and Bangladeshi that we don't need to drink with the same ones twice."

[Xteam]

Scene:
trench warfare on Pakistan border, Sikh regiment on one side, suddenly Adbul Hussain gets a bright idea, shouts! "Oye Babeer Singh!" Guy pops up from other trench "Kya hai be" BANG shot dead!
"Oye Sardar Singh" 10 guys stand up, "Kya hai saala" BANG BANG both khalaas.
"Oye Rajinder!" 2 more, BANG-BANG! dono saale khalaas!
Indians get worried, they think saala Paki log, when did they get so smart? Decide to try it themselves.
Indian: "Abe Mustafa".... silence.
Indian: "Oye Abdul!!".... silence.
Indian: "O bhai, Mustafa!"
Paki: "Oye Mustafa aur Abdul ko kaun bula raha hai re?"
Indian gets up, "Mein" BANG!


NO OFFENCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[rokaboka]

Indian cricket jokes 2

The story goes that there was a couple married for quite some time and they had a boy of 5-6 years old. Their relationship was turning sour. So finally it reached such a stage that they thought it was better for them to be divorced than to carry on such a relationship.

So they consulted a lawyer. But the big question was who would have the kid. In the hearing in the court it was decided that this choice should be left to their son. So the judge asked "Son, would you like to stay with your mummy?"

The kid replied," No, mummy beats me."
So the judge asked "Then, would you like to stay with your papa?"
The kid replied, "No, papa beats me too."

Now the judge was in a dilemma and was not able to decide what to do. After pondering for some time he smiled with the ideas he had in his mind about the child.

And he gave the judgment that the kid would stay with

Any guesses?

Come on I know you can guess this.

Ok here is the decision: The judge decided that the kid would stay with the Indian Cricket Team because they never beat anybody.

And here are some one liners to pipe up your day:
Why do Indian babies cry and complain all the time?
They are practicing how to become Indian cricketers when they grow up.

What is an handcuffed Indian Cricketer called?
A cricketer you can trust.

What are the four words that will destroy any Indian batsman?
Did you bat today?

Why doesn’t the crowd blink when Tendulkar goes out to bat?
There just is no time until he gets out again.

What is the difference between an Indian batsman and an Australian one?
100 runs.

What is the difference between batteries and Indian cricketers?
Batteries have a positive side.

How do you force Indian cricketers to run between wickets?
You place food on either end.

[r1p2b6]

1. Sardar: about a running race
Sardar: why are all these people running?
Man: This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
Sardar: If only the winner will get the cup, why are others running?

2. Sardarji filling application form
Sardarji was filling up application form for a job. He was not sure as
to what to be filled in column "Salary Expected".
After much thought he wrote : Yes !

[r1p2b6]

3. Sardar and his daughter
A man came running in to the sardar's office and cried-
  "Santa ! Your daughter has died"
  Depressed, Sardar jumps from 100th floor!
  .
  .
  .
  At 50 th floor he remembers I don't have a daughter!
  .
  .
  At 25 floor: I'm unmarried !
  .
  .
  At 10 floor : he remembers "I'm Banta not santa"
 
4. Sardar wins a lottery
Sardar wins 20 cr from Rs. 20 lottery ticket. Dealer gave him 11 cr after deducting tax.
Angry Sardar: "Give me 20 cr or else return my 20 Rs back.!