Author Topic: 101 reasons why 'I Love You'  (Read 39570 times)

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xnepali

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101 reasons why 'I Love You'
« on: January 24, 2007, 10:36:49 PM »
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1. Look at your zipper. See the initials YKK? It stands for Yoshida Kogyo Kabushibibaisha, the world's largest zipper manufacturer.
2. A raisin dropped in a glass of freshchampagne will bounce up and down continuously from the bottom of the glass to the top.

3. A duck's quack doesn't echo. No one knows why.
4. 40 percent of McDonald's profits come from the sales of Happy Meals.
5. 315 entries in Webster's 1996 Dictionary were misspelled.

6. On the average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents daily.

7. Chocolate kills dogs! True, chocolate affects a dog's heart and nervous system. A few ounces is enough to kill a small sized dog.

8. Most lipstick contains fish scales.

9. Ketchup was sold in the 1830's as a medicine.

10. Leonardo da Vinci could write with one hand and draw with the other at the same time.11. Because metal was scarce, the Oscars given out during World War II were made of wood.

12. There are no clocks in Las Vegas g@mbling casin0s.
13. Leonardo da Vinci invented scissors. Also, it took him 10 years to paint Mona Lisa's lips.

14. Bruce Lee was so fast that they actually had to slow a film down so you could see his moves. That's the opposite of the norm.

15. The original name for the butterfly was "flutterby"!
16. By raising your legs slowly and lying on your back, you can't sink in quicksand.
17. Mosquito repellents don't repel. They hide you. The spray blocks the mosquito's sensors so they don't know you're there.
18. Dentists recommend that a toothbrush be kept at least six feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush.

19. The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum.
20. The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer.

21. Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike annually than the entire Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined.

22. Marilyn Monroe had six toes on one foot.

23. Adolf Hitler's mother seriously considered having an abortion but was talked out of it by her doctor.
24. The three most valuable brand names on earth: Marlboro, Coca-Cola, and Budweiser, in that order.

25. "Stewardesses" is the longest word that can be typed with only the left hand.
26. To escape the grip of a crocodile's jaws, prick your fingers into its eyeballs. It will let you go instantly.
27. A mathematical wonder: 111,111,111 multiplied by 111,111,111 gives the result 12, 345, 678, 987, 654, 321.
28. The most common name in the world is Mohammed.

29. The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.
30. The "pound" (#) key on your keyboard is called an octothorp.
31. The only domestic animal not mentioned in the Bible is the cat.
32. Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.
33. The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.
34. "Dreamt" is the only word in the English language that ends in "mt".
35. It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.
36. In Chinese, the KFC slogan "finger lickin' good" comes out as "eat your fingers off".
37. A cockroach can live for 10 days without a head.
39. We shed 40 pounds of skin a lifetime.

40. Yo-Yos were once used as weapons in the Philippines.
41. Coca-Cola can be used as car oil.
42. Mexico City sinks abut 10 inches a year.
43. Brains are more active sleeping than watching TV.
44. Blue is the favorite color of 80 percent of Americans.
45. When a person shakes their head from side to side, he is saying "yes" in Sri Lanka.

46. There are more chickens than people in the world.


47. It's against the law in Iceland to have a dog.


48. The thumbnail grows the slowest, and the middle nail grows the fastest.
49. The only word in the English Language with all vowels in reverse order is "s ub c ont in ent al".


50. There are more telephones than people in Washington, D.C.

xnepali

  • Guest
Lessons From Life
« Reply #1 on: February 24, 2007, 03:00:37 AM »
Everybody Does It
ACCOUNTANTS are good with figures.
ACTORS do it on cue.
ADVERTISERS use the "new, improved" method.
AMBULANCE DRIVERS come quicker.
ANSI does it in the standard way.
ARCHEOLOGISTS like it old.
ARCHITECTS have great plans.
ARTISTS are exhibitionists.
ASSEMBLY LINE WORKERS do it over and over.
ASTRONOMERS do it with Uranus.
ATTORNEYS make better motions.
AUDITORS like to examine figures.
BABYSITTERS charge by the hour.
BAILIFFS always come to order.
BAKERS knead it daily.
BAND MEMBERS play all night.
BANKERS do it with interest (penalty for early withdrawal!)
BARBERS do it with shear pleasure.
BARTENDERS do it on the rocks.
BASEBALL PLAYERS make it to first base.
BASKETBALL PLAYERS score more often.
BEEKEEPERS like to eat their honey.
BEER BREWERS do it with more hops.
BEER DRINKERS get more head.
BICYCLISTS do it with 10 speeds.
BOOKKEEPERS do it with double entry
BOSSES delegate the task to others.
BOWLERS have bigger balls.
BRICKLAYERS lay all day.
BRIDGE PLAYERS try to get a rubber.
BUS DRIVERS come early and pull out on time.
BUTCHERS have better meat.
CAMPERS do it in a tent.
CARPENTERS hammer it harder.
CARPET LAYERS do it on the floor.
CHEERLEADERS do it with more enthusiasm.
CHEMISTS like to experiment.
CHESSPLAYERS check their mates.
CHIROPRACTORS do it by manipulation.
CLOCK MAKERS do it mechanically.
CLOWNS do it for laughs.
COACHES whistle while they work.
COBOL PROGRAMMERS do it with bugs.
COCKTAIL WAITRESSES serve highballs.
COMPUTER GAME PLAYERS just can't stop.
COMPUTER OPERATORS get the most out of their software.
CONSTRUCTION WORKERS lay a better foundation.
CONSULTANTS tell other how to do it.
COPS have bigger guns
COWBOYS handle anything horny.
COWGIRLS like to ride bareback.
CRANE OPERATORS have swinging balls.
CREDIT MANAGERS always collect.
DANCERS do it in leaps and bounds.
DEADHEADS do it with Jerry.
DEER HUNTERS will do anything for a buck.
DENTAL HYGENISTS do it till it hurts.
DENTISTS do it in your mouth.
DETECTIVES do it under cover.
DIRECT MAILERS get it in the sack.
DIVERS do it deeper.
DOCTORS do it with patience.
DRUGGISTS fill your prescription.
DRUMMERS do it in 4/4 time.
DRYWALLERS are better bangers.
ELECTRICIANS check your shorts.
ELECTRICIANS do it in their shorts.
EXECUTIVES have large staffs.
FARMERS spread it around.
FIREMEN are always in heat.
FISHERMEN are proud of their rods.
FOOTBALL PLAYERS are measured by the yard.
FOUR-WHEELERS eat more bush.
FURRIERS appreciate good beaver.
GARBAGEMEN come once a week.
GARDENERS have 50 foot hoses.
GAS STATION ATTENDANTS pump all day.
GOLFERS do it in 18 holes.
GYMNASTS mount and dismount well.


Well,,,,, what is your occupation ?

xnepali

  • Guest
Famous Last Words
« Reply #2 on: February 24, 2007, 03:01:26 AM »
Famous Last Words
Winning doesn't matter much to me. I just like playing golf.
I respect your opinion, although it differs from mine considerably.
You don't need to bring the boat closer, I can jump from here.
It was driven by a little old lady to and from church.
We do not need to guarantee our product, it never fails.
With this camera, you can't make a serious mistake.
Practically everything in the car is under warranty.
I trust any elected official to do their job properly.
One application of this wax should last at least a year, if not longer.
There really are no exclusions in this policy, it covers everything.
It will work better if you remove the safety device.
Read my lips. No new taxes.
It will be shipped tomorrow and you will receive it within five days.
The check for that item is in the mail.
This offer is for a limited time only, so you must hurry.
It is a wonderful home in a crime free neighborhood at a ridiculous price.
If you have any problem with it, just let us know.
This IRS payment will just have to wait...
There is no way anything could go wrong with it, it has been checked.
It comes with an unconditional guarantee.
We have never had any complaints about this product in the history of it.
This is a maintenance free product and requires no work to keep it going.
This mechanism has always been trouble free.
Product requires minimal assembly which can be done with a screwdriver.
Who cares who wins, it's the way you play the game that counts.
When the current stock is sold, it will not be reordered, so buy it now.
This product is not available in any store at any price.
The weather forecast says sunshine, so leave the boots and rainwear home.
There is a minimal service charge for each call.
The superintendent will be there shortly to correct the problem.
The home office is in Kyoto, but you will never need to call them there.
Because of high demand, allow three to six months for delivery.
Our service truck is on the way to your home at this very time.
We have never even heard of any malfunction of this item before.
Our simple assembly instructions make it almost impossible to fail.
It is absolutely water proof and has never been known to leak.
In the event of minor difficulty, consult the manual for detailed help.
At this price, you can't afford not to buy it.
In this instance, reconditioned means as good as new.
A friendly consultant is available night or day, as close as your phone.
We are sure that the sub-assembly will be in with the next shipment.
Our generous cash refund policy does not apply to that item.

xnepali

  • Guest
Insurance Responses
« Reply #3 on: February 24, 2007, 03:01:45 AM »
Insurance Responses
Well, you'd be angry too if you had a tree put a move on you as fast as that one did on me, which is why the car is totally ruined.

The reason I had this difficulty is that the tree wasn't where it would have been if I had selected the right driveway, but since I did not, there it was where it shouldn't be, and this is why I hit it.

I tried to avoid hitting him, but he kept coming toward me and asking for it and I finally felt that I really should oblige him.  It demolished his car, but it didn't even scratch my bumper.

The other car appeared, as out of nowhere, although I am sure it was some- where before it appeared, and once it did, hitting it was the only thing left for me to do, so I did it, and frankly, I rather enjoyed it.

We are going to have peace, and by golly, if necessary, I'll beat the stuffings out of anyone who says we are not going to have peace.  Sometimes, when you want something bad enough, you just have to fight for it - that's the way it is with peace.

Try as hard as I did, no matter what move I made, that telephone pole matched me and eventually it hit me.  I'd have to say that the pole was at fault, it certainly wasn't me.

The stop sign which caused this action appeared there recently and was new to me.  It cause me great alarm and when I am watching its pole, I note the sign is too low for the car, which is why it destroy the windshield.  When I note this, it excite me, and that is when wall came into line of drive and cause me to ruin radiator, but not until I got the truck of the man who was putting up those stop signs. If there were more space on this form I tell you about baby carriage, but this is enough information for you for one day.

I know of no driving manual which suggests that passengers depart from the cabin of the car when going around the corner at such speeds.  When this happened, I took evasive action, and that is when I wiped out those other five cars, the bus and the branch bank office.  One of the passengers who got out of the other car still managed to come through my windshield, at considerable additional cost, may I add.

I honestly do not believe that anyone was really responsible for this accident, but if blame must be placed, it surely belongs, all 110% of it, on the other driver.

Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I didn't have.

The other car collided with mine without even giving warning of its intentions.

I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.

A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.

A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

The guy was all over the road.  I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.

I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and headed for the embankment.

As I approached the intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no sign had ever appeared before.  I was unable to stop in time to avoid theaccident.

To avoid hitting the car in front of me, I struck the pedestrian.

In my attempt to hit a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.

My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.

I told the police that I was not injured, but upon removing my hat, I found that I had a fractured skull.

The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run, so I ran over him.

The indirect cause of this accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.

An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my vehicle and vanished.

I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel.

I saw a sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off of the hood of my car.

I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.

I was thrown from my car as it left the road.  I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.

The telephone pole was approaching; I was attempting to swerve out of the way when it struck my front end.

I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.

xnepali

  • Guest
The Rules Of Love
« Reply #4 on: February 24, 2007, 03:02:06 AM »
The Rules Of Love
The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave with no hard feelings.
Nothing improves with age.
No matter how many times you've had it, take it, because it'll never be quite the same again.
Sex has no calories.
Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.
There is no remedy for sex but more sex.
Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got.
No sex with anyone in the same office.
Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you'll get or how long it'll last.
A man in the house is worth two in the street.
If you get them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.
Virginity can be cured.
When a man's wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening to him.
Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.
Qualities that attract a woman to a man are the same ones she can't stand years later.
Sex is dirty only if it's done right.
It is always the wrong time of month.
The best way to hold a man is in your arms.
When the lights are out, all women are beautiful.
Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won't either.
Sow your wild oats on Saturday night -- Then on Sunday pray for crop failure.
The younger the better.
The game of love is never called off on account of darkness.
It wasn't the apple on the tree but the pair on the ground that caused trouble in Eden.
Sex discriminates against the shy and the ugly.
Before you find your handsome prince, you've got to kiss a lot of frogs.
Love your neighbor, but don't get caught.
Love is a hole in the heart.
Love is a matter of chemistry, sex is a matter of physics.
Do it only with the best.
Sex is a 3-letter word which needs old-fashioned 4-letter words to convey its meaning.
One good turn gets most of the blankets.
You cannot produce a baby in one month by impregnating nine women.
Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
Thou shalt not commit adultery.....unless in the mood.
Never lie down with a woman who's got more troubles than you.
Abstain from wine, women, and song; mostly song.
Never argue with a women when she's tired -- or rested.
A woman never forgets the men she could have had, a man, the women he couldn't.
What matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick.
It is better to be looked over than overlooked.
Never say no.
A man can be happy with any woman as long as he doesn't love her.
Folks playing leapfrog must complete all jumps.
Beauty is skin deep; ugly goes right to the bone.
Never stand between a fire hydrant and a dog.
A man is only a man, but a good bicycle is a ride.
Love comes in spurts.
The world does not revolve on an axis.
Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation; the other eight are unimportant.
Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.
Don't do it if you can't keep it up.
There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when they fall in love.
Never go to bed mad, stay up and fight.
Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
"This won't hurt, I promise."

xnepali

  • Guest
25 signs that you have grown up
« Reply #5 on: March 27, 2007, 10:04:44 AM »
1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.

2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.

3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.

4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.

5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator.

6. You watch the Weather Channel.

7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of "hook up" and "break up".

8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.

9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up".

10. You're the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next door won't turn down the stereo.

11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.

12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.

13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.

14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers.

15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.

16. You take naps.

17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.

18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.

19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.

20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good shit".

21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.

22. "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going to drink that much again".

23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.

24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.

25. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them instead of asking, "Oh shit, what the hell happened?"

 

 

Bonus:

26: You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't apply to you and can't find one to save your sorry old ass. Then you forward it to a bunch of old friends 'cause you know they'll enjoy it too.


credits: anon-146472

xnepali

  • Guest
40 reasons not to believe official 9/11 story
« Reply #6 on: March 27, 2007, 10:09:17 AM »
here is the story

gigolo

  • 50x
  • ****
  • Posts: 470
Re: 50 interesting facts
« Reply #7 on: April 08, 2007, 11:58:36 AM »
nice one

xnepali

  • Guest
Re: 50 interesting facts
« Reply #8 on: April 20, 2007, 01:24:22 AM »

xnepali

  • Guest
Lessons From Life
« Reply #9 on: August 13, 2007, 10:14:43 PM »
25 Good Reasons Why Beer is Better Than Women

   1. You can enjoy a beer all month long.
   2. Beer stains wash out.
   3. You don't have to wine and dine beer.
   4. Your beer will always wait patiently for you in the car while you play football.
   5. When your beer goes flat, you toss it out.
   6. Beer is never late.
   7. A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer.
   8. Hangovers go away.
   9. Beer labels come off without a fight.
  10. When you go to a bar, you know you can always pick up a beer.
  11. Beer never has a headache.
  12. You don't have to drive a beer home in the morning.
  13. A beer won't get upset if you come home with another beer.
  14. If you pour a beer right, you'll always get good head.
  15. A beer always goes down easy.
  16. You can have more than one beer in a night and not feel guilty.
  17. You can share a beer with your friends.
  18. You always know you're the first one to pop a beer.
  19. Beer is always wet.
  20. Beer doesn't demand equality.
  21. You can have a beer in public.
  22. A beer doesn't care when you come.
  23. A frigid beer is a good beer.
  24. You don't have to wash a beer before it tastes good.
  25. If you change beers you don't have to pay alimony.